Raising the Kings

Starting Over

2012-01-26T07:18:00.001-08:00

If anyone is out there...I'm back!!
After a long time (over a year) of not blogging, I am going to try and get back into it. A lot has happened in the last year and I will try my best to update and actually have some deep thoughts along the way. :)

For those who are keeping up with the kid count...we now have 4! Alana Noel King was born on Nov. 29th at 5:01 pm. She weighed 8 lbs 9 oz (just like Juliana) and was 21 1/4 in. long. She is most definitely the last! Labor and delivery with her was not how we expected or planned, but she is here and healthy and that's all we ever ask for. The other three are doing very well with her. Kyler feeds her the last bottle before I get home from work and changes her diaper, Aaliyah is great at getting anything else we may need, and Juliana is great at playing with her. She looks just like the other three and is such a happy baby...sometimes too happy at 2:00 in the morning, though. ;)

I am back to work and it is hard. Working full-time with four kids at home is not for the faint of heart! I'm up between 4:30 and 5:00 every morning and am usually crawling into bed at about 10:30. Ray is still working from home and keeping the girls. His business is really starting to pick up and he's had some awesome opportunities lately that will give him even more exposure locally and, hopefully, nationally.
Kyler is now 7 and in 1st grade. He played football this fall and did amazingly well. Daddy was one of his coaches and I'm so glad they had that time together. In this family of all girls, it's important that they boys get their time. He's playing basketball now and we'll see how it goes. With every new sport, there is always a learning curve and Kyler is still climbing that curve.
Aaliyah is still a princess and growing fast. She hasn't done any sports or dance or anything, yet, but it's coming. Her birthday is coming up quickly and I can't believe she is going to be 5! She is definitely the child who tests my nerves every day. We will probably always butt heads, but I am training her to be a strong, independent young lady.
Juliana is now two and turning into our little bruiser. Always into something and talking up a storm. She is the sneaky one who can get away with murder because she is so quick about it. She is getting smarter by the day and loves hanging out with her brother and getting dirty. We have pretty much decided that she will be the daredevil. She's extremely independent and driven just like her daddy.

So there's the quick catch-up. More to come!

King Family Update

2011-03-17T09:27:00.000-07:00

Well...we have entered yet another busy season in our lives. On Dec. 20th I returned to work full time and Ray began taking care of the girls and working from home during the day. It has been quite the adjustment, but we are hanging in there and adapting our routine every day until we find a good fit for our family. Unfortunately, my job has me in the car for 45 min. or so in the morning and nearly an hour on the way home, so that takes a lot of time away from the kids. I just keep telling myself that this is just a season and make the best of the time we do have together.
Ray's photography is growing by leaps and bounds. He will be shooting his first wedding in May and has had many amazing opportunities come his way. We are very optimistic about the future of our photography business.
Kyler is now 6 and has lost three teeth. Right now he has the cutest little hockey player smile with one tooth missing on the top. He is doing great in school and is reading above grade level! I am one proud momma. :)
Aaliyah just turned 4 and is still a princess. We are learning each day how to deal with a girl who has very sensitive feelings and a "slight" tendancy to overreact to simple situations.
Juliana is now 17 months and is showing a great personality. She is definitely going to be the life of the party! She is also the reason I am getting more and more gray hairs every day. She is the most strong-willed of all our children and also quite the daredevil. She will test us as parents, for sure.
I think that's all for now. We are all doing great and finally starting to settle into life with a working mom again. I will try to update more often, but we all know how many times I've said that in the last two years! ;)

Kyler's 6!!

2010-11-05T11:58:00.001-07:00

Tues. Nov. 2, 2004...Election Day
Where did the time go? I cannot believe that my baby boy is 6 years old! I still remember everything about the day before and the day of his birth like it just happened last week. He is turning out to be a great kid and I am so thankful for that. He is doing great in Kindergarten. His teacher says he is very helpful and friendly, he's doing great with his work, and needs to working on his attitude when he loses at something. At least he got his father's competitive spirit! :) I am so proud of him. He played Fall Ball this year for the Yankees and they came in 2nd place...he held his own very well! He loves his sisters and is very helpful around the house (most of the time). He is also starting to notice a lot of the things they talk about at church. I think it's finally starting to click. I feel so unprepared for when he starts asking questions, but I pray everyday that God will give Ray and I the right things to say at the right times. He is having his first sleepover at our house tonight to celebrate and I'm getting mentally prepared for having 4 boys over all night! ;)

If you still read this blog, thank you. I know I've not been keeping up with it very well. This is a very busy season in our lives and somethings have to give...I don't think my family would appreciate it if I gave up cooking and cleaning to blog. :o

Too long...again

2010-08-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry. The summertime gets away from me and time flies by! I can't get the photos to load right, so you'll just have to imagine them. :o Really, I will work on it when I have a little more time.

We have had a great summer just playing and spending time together as a family. I went to Oklahoma with the kids and my mom and they had a blast getting to know lots of new cousins and seeing Great-Grandma and Grandma Sharon. I hope we can go back sooner rather than later. The older I get and the older my kids get, the more I realize how much I miss being around my extended family.

In early July, we found out that we were expecting #4! A bit surprised to say the least, but we accepted God's plan for our family and started preparing. Last Tuesday, I woke up with some issues and we went in to the doctor to find out that we had lost our beautiful surprise. It was (and still is) heartbreaking, but we know that God has a plan for our family. We do not always know why He allows things like this to happen, but it is His plan, not ours. We firmly believe that God is still the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and we cling to Him in our sorrow. I know that one day I will meet my beautiful baby in the arms of my Savior.

Kyler started Kindergarten full-time today. He is so excited when he gets on that bus in the morning. I'm glad that he loves school and pray that he keeps that enthusiasm throughout his school years. His teacher is amazing...she is exactly the type of teacher I was praying that he would get. She loves her job, her students, and is so encouraging to the kids. I LOVE that!

Kyler is also starting Fall Ball this week. I've never done baseball in the fall, but he is excited to be a Yankee! He will be playing with 5-8 year olds, so he has a lot of work to do to catch up, but he can do it. He is working hard with daddy after school and his coach is very eager to help him out, too.

I think that's all for now. I will try to do a better job of keeping everyone updated now that we are back in a regular school schedule.

I'm back

2010-06-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry. Things have gotten quite busy in the King household lately.
-baseball season is almost done. Only one more game then the playoffs. His team is second in the 5/6 year old age group. I'm so proud of how hard they are working together as a team.
-Aaliyah has turned into quite the 3 year old handful. She's already learned the fine art of lying (to get her brother in trouble) and using "not-so-pleasant" words (ie. curse words she's picked up from a certain neighbor boy). Needless to say, she has already experienced the hot sauce.
-Juliana is 8 months old (tomorrow) and a handful herself. She has learned how to army crawl, pull up, and she is almost crawling on her hands and knees. She has also learned that when she lays in her crib and screams bloody-murder, mom comes running. This seems to be her favorite thing to do at 2:00 AM. :(
-3 Kings Photography is official. We got our business license and I am now running the business. This is the main reason I have not been blogging as much. What time I have on the computer is spent marketing, researching, keeping track of expenses and income...well, you get the idea. It's overwhelming at times, but I have a feeling that this is why God has not given me a teaching job. I need to be home to run this business that is beginning to take off. **SHAMELESS PLUG** If anyone needs family portraits, children's pictures, engagement photos, headshots, etc. feel free to let me know. I will be more than happy to set you up!

I guess that's all for now. As soon as my husband posts the pictures from Mother's Day and Juliana's baby dedication, I will share a couple with you.

Sat. May 22, 2010

2010-05-25T11:33:00.001-07:00

I hope I never forget that day. Not because of something that happened in the world news or national news or even local news. Not because someone famous died or got arrested or shamed themselves. Sat. May 22, 2010 will always be the day that I was so proud of my son that I almost busted out the ugly cry...in public...at the ballfield.

This is his second year playing baseball. He's not the best hitter on the team. He can't throw the ball all the way in from the outfield and he loses all sense of urgency when running the bases when he does hit the ball. But...he improves all season long and from one year to the next. He cheers for his team mates (when he's not playing around in the dugout) and tries hard (most of the time). But...Sat. May 22, 2010 was a day that I hope he never forgets, either. Here is what happened...
Time has run out on the clock and we are at the bottom of the inning, our bat. Kyler is up, the other team is up by 1 run (6-7), and we have two outs and a man on base. "God, please help Kyler hit the ball and make it to base. I can't handle it if he gets the last out of the game...again." Strike one! "God, PLEASE, help Kyler hit the ball." The coach pitches the ball...PING! HE HIT IT!! "RUN, KYLER, RUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!" He rounds first and hesitates to run on (despite the coach yelling at him to go to second). After a quick back and forth, which seemed like minutes instead of miliseconds, he makes it to second base. We are tied! "Thank you, God!" Next kid comes up to bat....PING! Hard ground ball right through the infield and keeps rolling into the grass. "RUUUNNNNN, KYLER, RUN HARD!!!" He comes around third and doesn't hesitate to run on to home. The other team throws it home...kid misses the ball...KYLER SCORES!!!!!!

I know Kyler stepped up and hit the tying run in to save the game and that is what made the coach and the team proud. But what makes this so sweet and this mama so proud was that winning run. He has not crossed home plate yet this season, until now. I totally forgot in that moment that poor Juliana was on my hip probably freaking out because mom was jumping and yelling while she held on for dear life...and who knows where Aaliyah was (so thankful for team parents who help keep an eye on everyone else's kids!). I was beyond happy and so proud of my son. You know what's even better than that, though? Seeing how proud daddy was of his son. The look on his face, beneath the sunglasses (thank goodness he was wearing sunglasses, if you get my point), will stay with me even when I'm old and senile.

Stream of consciousness baby update

2010-05-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

For the three or four who read my blog...here's an update on Juliana:

She turned 7 months on Tuesday. Wow, time flies even faster the third time around! I totally didn't get any 6 months pictures made...would it still count if I took them now? In the last month she has gone from rolling over slowly to where she wants to go to army crawling, sitting up on her own (when we put her down and pushing herself up to sitting), rocking on her hands and knees, and eating solids. She prefers to have food she can chew on instead of babyfood, so I may just forgo the whole "making baby food" thing like I did with the other two. She has more or less skipped over 6-9 month clothes which is great because we have all Aaliyah's clothes from 12 mos. and up. We are moving the kids rooms around (finally) this weekend. Kyler will get his own room again and Aaliyah will have to learn to share a room...and not wake up her baby sister at 5:30 in the morning! Her little personality is starting to come out and I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing! :) She is not the needy Princess that her sister was, but not quite as easy-going as Kyler was. She is very flexible with her schedule, though, and that's nice. We noticed two little tooth buds starting to appear on her bottom gums, so I guess teething is just around the corner. I predict she will be pulling up and crusing before too long and walking shortly after that...although I hope the walking holds off until 12 months. When my hubby gets the pictures from Mother's Day and her baby dedication uploaded, then I will post some here...or I may have to resort to taking pictures myself for uploading. ;)
I guess that's all for now...better go make sure she hasn't pulled herself up in her crib since she's not asleep yet!

Entering a new season

2010-05-13T11:40:00.001-07:00

And here we go. I just registered my oldest for Kindergarten today. Didn't I just have him? Wow. When people tell you to cherish every moment because they grow up so fast, I would just nod my head and agree. I don't think it's sinking in how fast time has gone!
When he was born, school seemed so far off. I couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to have a kid in school. Am I that old already? Today was easy...filling out forms, showing him how the kids walked in a single-file line down the hallway. It's August that I really dread. I don't know if I'll be working or not. I don't know what our lives will be like in 3 months, but I do know that he'll be in school regardless of what happens. I went through times that I wanted to homeschool (honestly, I still do) and times when I was all about sending him off to public school (if it worked for me, he will be fine). Private school has never truly been an option for us (although, it would be nice). I was never really scared about him going to public school...until the last couple of years. I've seen what kids are like now. Surely we didn't act like that? I am scared to let him ride the bus with big, scary 5th graders because he is such a follower and looks up so much to older kids. How do I let go? I pray, constantly. The joke has been that I am already praying for his teacher because he knows so much already, that he will be bored and get in all kinds of trouble. Today, I realize that I need to sincerely pray for his teacher...and everyone he comes in contact with. I need to pray that they will impact him in a positive way; that they will be good role models. I've never really prayed over my child. Now is the time.
I feel as though I haven't truly prepared him for what he's going to face in school. Will he be picked on? How will he handle that? How will I handle that? Is he going to get in trouble all the time? I was never in the principal's office...will he be? God has this amazing way to keep you on your knees when you are a parent. Just when you think you've got the groove going, something else comes up to prove that your children are not your children at all...they are His children. Have I done everything I can do to prepare him? no. Is that even possible? probably not. The only thing I can do at this point is pray without ceasing that I can show him God's love as a parent and that he learns to show others that same love.
Knowing that it takes a village, will you please join me in praying for my son, Kyler? That he learns to follow God with the same wide eyes that he follows the big kids? That God will protect him as he starts school in August and that I can learn to let go just enough...enough to teach him independence but not so much that he forgets how much I love him.

Realization

2010-04-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

I have come to the realization in the last few weeks that I have not been tough enough on my son. Maybe it's because I thought explaining things to him would be enough. Maybe it's because I thought his dad was too tough and felt I had to compensate for that. Regardless of the reason, he is now 5 and will start Kindergarten in August. I have begun to give him more freedom and have watched how he interacts with others. Why is it so hard to be tough on him? I want my son to be strong, to be a leader, but also to have compassion for others and give of himself to help them. I want him to know his identity in Jesus Christ and to let His love radiate to others. I realize that I have to lead by example, but my example fails way too often.
I always thought I would have a house full of boys...on some level, I think that would be easier than having only one boy and two girls. I all of a sudden feel completely ill-equipped to raise a son. I know I'm not alone...I do have my husband, but, as a SAHM, I am with the kids more. What he is doing and the way he is acting may be completely normal, but we have higher expectations for our children than "just normal."
Being one who likes to read about parenting, does anyone have any recommendations for books on raising boys? A few of the ones I have heard of tend to be geared more toward older boys (later elementary ages). Any suggestions on books or websites?

What's a SAHM to do?

2010-04-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

So...what does a SAHM do when the kids aren't home?

On my list today...take care of a few personal beauty things that have been left behind lately
>

Hook up our new-to-us washer (thanks to my wonderful brother!) and do laundry

Clean the house...again...but without interruption and no one to mess it up until tonight

Listen to MY music and sing all day

Clean up big kids' room...and mysteriously more things will go missing that they will never miss

Play with my happy baby

Bake cinnamon rolls for tomorrow's rushed breakfast (the boy has to be at the baseball field at 8:15)

Maybe mow the grass (or at least get it ready to be mowed tomorrow)

Maybe take a nap (if I can stop my mind from racing long enough)

ENJOY THE PEACE AND QUIET!

I love my kids, but we all know mom's need a day off every now and then. Thank you to my wonderful mom for taking them off my hands for the day. :)

So...I want to know what you do when you don't have your kids around.

Facebook status'

2010-03-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

If you have been on Facebook for more than a day, then you start to realize that you go through your day thinking in FB status updates. Just last night my husband came home from watching basketball with some guys from work and I asked him how it went. He said "it was basketball. I don't even know who won." (we are NOT a basketball family. we believe that it is just a sport to fill in the gap until football starts up again) I asked him if he even knew who was playing. He said it was Georgetown and some Oklahoma team and I quickly informed him that it couldn't be Georgetown b/c they were beat on Thursday. Then I said "this would make a great FB status!" Anyway, I digress. This morning I have had several potential status updates flow through my head (it happens all the time) and thought I would post them all here.
My morning in FB posts:

-woke up with rip-roaring headache...ugh, need drugs and coffee.
-PTL extra-strength tylenol works on my headaches...did NOT need a migraine today!
-so excited...MY BROTHER IS COMING HOME TOMORROW!! *big cheesy grin* (this one actually made it onto my FB)
-tylenol finally kicked in...an hour later. :\
-mmmm, bacon.
-Aaliyah brought me a pair of shorts and said "here mom, these will fit you"...they were maternity shorts.
-after informing Aaliyah that those shorts only fit when there is a baby in mommy's belly and there is definitely NOT a baby in mommy's belly she brings me a tight, skimpy spaghetti strapped shirt (yeah, thanks dear, that won't fit mommy either...because she has had 3 babies in her belly!)

looks like it's going to be an interesting day already!

New Day

2010-03-16T05:02:00.000-07:00

After reading back over yesterday's post, I realized that I am sounding really down and negative lately. That's not who I am most of the time, honestly. Maybe it's God working on my heart a little...or a lot! ;)
The school I used to teach at was amazing. Our principal said at the beginning of every morning, "Good Morning! It is a new day and a new beginning." That's how I feel almost every morning. I wake up thinking, "okay, today is going to be different. I will get all my tasks done and spend time with my children loving on them and just having fun." I'd like to say that those things happen every day, but they don't. Things come up. Cleaning takes longer, I'm on the computer longer than I want to be, the baby decided to throw her schedule out the window or is super whiney or wants to be held more or....well, you get the idea. The days I focus on spending more time just playing with my kids, I feel great about that but then worry that the house looks like a mess. The days I have the house looking great, I feel guilty about not having spent more time playing with my kids.
I guess when you're a mom, there's always something nagging at you. There is always one more thing to be done or something to feel guilty about. That's what makes us a mom! So...today, I will start over. I will let my children help me with the laundry, even if it takes three times as long. I will let them play and be kids, but I will also hold them accountable for their actions, discipline them when they disobey, and teach them about giving to others. I will let them wash their own dishes (yes, they like to do it and ask to!) even if I have to go back and wash them again then clean up the water all over the counters and floor. I WILL LOVE MY CHILDREN THE WAY GOD LOVES US! Without condition, despite their flaws and disobedience, in spite of their sassy mouths and selfishness.

Mom guilt

2010-03-15T17:19:00.001-07:00

My worst fear has come true. In a constant attempt to mold my children into who I want them to be and worrying about what every little thing they see or hear is teaching them, I have forgotten about my own attitude and actions. In my attempt to make them not so much like me, they have become exactly what I was trying to avoid.
I want my children to love each other. I want them to play together, be polite with one another, give to other people, put others first, and not get caught up in stuff. I don't want them thinking they have to have everything they see on TV or in the store. They, instead, are selfish, greedy, and LOUD! They scream at each other, cry when they get angry or don't get their way, and ask me for everything they see on TV...no, really, at every single commercial I hear "MMOOOOOOOMMMM, CAN WE HAVE...??"
I realized today that it's my fault. I scream at them in anger. I am saying all kinds of words in my head knowing that I can't say them out loud because they will pick them up. I am not honoring God with my thoughts and actions. I am not raising HIS children with HIS love. I pray, I try to take deep breaths and calm down, I try everything I know to do and nothing works. I am so scared they will become adults who need serious therapy because their mother screamed at them when they were little. I'm scared they will go to school and be screwed up because of me...that their teachers will wonder "what kind of parents raise a child like this?"
Yet, I press on. I try to treat each new day as a chance to start over. I continue to pray...and hope that they will still turn out good despite their mother's sad attempt at parenting.

Random...

2010-03-12T10:50:00.000-08:00

-working on a new photography blog for 3 Kings Photography. Hoping I can keep that one up to date more consistantly than I have done on this one. ;)
-my brother is finally out of the desert and on his way home...woohoo!
-I am so ready for warmer weather and better prices on fresh fruit and vegetables! I eat so much better in the spring and summer.
-dealing with some old emotional baggage that has crept back up...Satan is having a field day with me. :(
-wish I could just have a couple of weeks with no children and a lot of money...I have some serious urges to clean everything out, organize, and paint!
-Little Bit started cereal this week...I can't tell if she loves the cereal or the spoon coming at her mouth! it's quite funny to see.
-I'm really starting to get the hang of this meal planning thing and using up everything I have on hand before going to the store...I've managed to make our groceries last a much longer time...now if I could just have my own cow to milk...I'm sure it would be a whole lot cheaper! :)
-struggling with going back to work...was so sure I wanted to go back to teaching while I was pregnant...now, not so sure...would like to work part-time during the day while girls are in a MDO program.
-it's starting to sink in that I will have one child in school next year...I'm really struggling with letting go...so scared he will be getting trouble all the time or pick up some really bad habits from the other kids
-I would really like to re-evaluate my parenting and do some things different
-going to take a nap now, Little Bit decided she needed a feeding at 1:30 this AM and K and A decided they needed to get up before 6 because the thunder was "scawy"

so what's it REALLY like? part 4

2010-03-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

if you have no idea what I've been writing about, read part 1, part 2, and part 3 first.

So what can we do to change our hearts and attitudes about being a SAHM?
First, understand that you will have good days and bad days. Everyone does. You are not alone! Yes, you feel alone, but you're not. There are other moms who understand. Some are going through exactly what you are, some have been through worse, some not so bad, and some are on the other side and have a wealth of advice and encouragement. Find these women, whether through facebook, your church, a circle of friends and their friends...whatever you have to do to find other women who are encouraging and loving and who have been there.
Second, pray. Find a way, any way, to keep your personal time with God. I feel like a hypocrite telling you to do this part. I am the world's worst at keeping a quiet time, so I am preaching to myself on this one. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a personal relationship with God. If you have any questions about this, then please feel free to comment or email me at mtsusinger [at] yahoo [dot] com.
Third, talk. Talk to your husband. Be open (yet again, preaching to myself here) and honest with him. Tell him how you feel and ask him what he's going through. Make an attempt to understand each other's point of view. You can never know exactly what it's like to live someone else's life because you are not them, but you can try to see things the way they see them. It may give you a new perspective you didn't think of before.
Fourth, do something for yourself every day. For me, I always feel worse on the days I don't get a shower in the morning. I always try to have my coffee in the quiet of the morning (5:30 in the morning to be exact) before the kids get up. This is time that my husband and I can have together to talk or just sit together before the kids get up. Yes, it's early, but when your kids get up anywhere between 6 and 7, you do what you have to! I also try and get in 30 minutes of yoga. It helps keep me calm and relaxed and gives me a workout at the same time!

The most important thing is to remember that, in the end, you and your husband love each other and you love your kids and that is why this parenting thing is so hard...because true, unconditional love is hard. I'll tell you, though, nothing makes my mind forget all the bad things and melts my heart faster than watching my husband love on our kids. THAT is what makes it worth it for me. :)

so what's it REALLY like? part 3

2010-03-05T06:33:00.000-08:00

I had originally intended this to be a 3-part post...it's looking like it will be 4 or 5 parts now. Sorry. ;)

read part 1 here
read part 2 here

So far all I have talked about is the (sometimes) ugly truth about being a SAHM. What about the husband's side? What is it like for him? This is, after all, a marriage of two people...two people working together to parent their children to the best of their ability to bring glory to God.

I have not talked about this with my husband, so I may have it all wrong, but I would imagine that being a SAHM takes a toll on your husband, too. They would probably not talk about what it's like for them unless you poked and prodded and promised hot wings and football...but it does have an affect on them that no one tells them about, either. Let's take it from their perspective (keeping in mind that their minds work totally different than ours).
Husbands have just as much on their plate as we do as moms...we just don't see it that way because we can do a gazillion things at once and still keep some semblance of sanity. They have the huge task of providing for their family's financial needs...alone. For a person whose identity is his ability to care for his family, this is a major stressor. This is similar to how we, as women, feel about how we look. When we take care of ourselves (exercise, eat healthy) we feel better about ourselves, which means that we are better equipped to take care of our family. When our husbands are able to provide for their family, they feel better about themselves and are better equipped to provide for other needs we may have (ie: affection, communication).
Another stressor is what happens when they come home from work. They have been working all day (some physical labor, some office jobs that require lots of brain power) and the first thing we do is say "here, take the kids, I've had enough." We don't even think about what they've been doing all day...we just figure it can't be as hard as what we've been doing. The truth is...and this is hard to swallow...they have been working all day and we have been working all day and we both need a break and some time to decompress. They are stressed from going from one job right into the next (or sometimes, third, if they have a second job outside the home) and we are stressed from doing the same job all day long!

so what's it REALLY like? part 2

2010-03-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

If you missed part one, go read here first.

***This entry is in no way bashing my husband. I'm not saying that I've never done this, but not recently. Just trying to be brutally honest about what goes through the mind of a SAHM.***

There is a surprising emotional toll to being a SAHM that no one tells you about...until now. There are days you resent your husband because he goes to work and has no idea what you do all day (and has even uttered those deadly words "so what did you do all day?"). You can feel isolated; even more so if you are extremely social, like me. You have all day to let bad feelings fester and boil up. You can get in the bad habit of thinking too much, all day long. For example, let's say that before your husband left for work, he said something that rubbed you the wrong way. He's off to work and has forgotten all about it by the time he gets there...you, however, have not. He had traffic, music on the radio, and planning his day on his brain...you have taken that hurt from what he said and let it sit. Then piled on top of it a fussy baby, a messy house, dishes from breakfast that need to be done, two preschoolers begging you to play with them, or do this, or watch that...then it happens...you see it...something else that has to be picked up. But it doesn't belong to one of the kids. Oh, no. It's a sock (or shirt, or shoes) and it's HIS!! THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT AN ADULT PICKING UP THEIR OWN CRAP!!!!!
You have officially snapped. It sits, festering, boiling inside until he walks in the door, then you let him have it the second he looks at you wrong and he has NO idea what he has done.
Sound familiar?
What about this one?
Your kids have been running around the house and talking non-stop all day long, literally. You have told them at least 20 times to pick this up or go do that, even giving them time out for disobeying you, but it's still not done. Daddy walks in the door and they become perfect little angels doing everything you've told them to do the first time he asks. Or maybe it's the opposite, you've had them tow the line all day and they are finally obeying and listening and calm, but when daddy gets home, all hell breaks loose. They are running around, fighting, screaming and yelling and he looks at you and says, "what's wrong with your kids?" My kids? MY KIDS??
yeah, I'll leave that one alone...you can probably guess what is said in response to that comment.
Truth is...I wouldn't trade it, but sometimes I dream of Supernanny coming in and making my home so nice and peaceful and fun...of course, my kids would have to be waaaayyyy worse for her to come here.

so what's it REALLY like?

2010-03-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

I remember being at work after my first child was born just dreaming of being able to stay home with him. I would long for a snow day (I was a teacher) or count down to the next 3-day weekend just to be able to spend more time with him. While I was pregnant with #2, I realized that I was only spending about 4 hours a day with my son and he was spending nearly 10 hours a day at daycare. This is NOT what I wanted for my family. I prayed about it during my pregnancy and after my daughter was born and really felt God calling me to stay home with our children...part of that confirmation came when He gave me a daughter who was very high-maintenance from birth! That was 3 years ago. I had visions of play dates, sunny days at the playground, visits to the zoo, and well-rounded, well-behaved kids...all while keeping up with the housekeeping and putting a well-cooked dinner on the table every night. Then we would sit around the table as a family and have dinner and discuss our day.

YEAH, RIGHT!

Fast forward 3 years to today. I have no car (long story) and am stuck at home all day and about two nights a week by myself with three children, two of whom need to run and play A LOT. I struggle to keep the downstairs clean in case we have clients coming over in the evening (we are semi-professional photographers). I only worry about the upstairs (the kids' area) about once a month...maybe. I put food on the table most of the time, but, as my husband will tell you, it's not that great most of the time either. It's usually something I threw together and didn't season well, or burned, or undercooked, or...well you get the idea. I have not been on any play dates during the week day (no car, remember?), we have been to the zoo a few times when we had two vehicles, and I did manage to take the oldest two to the park while I was pregnant with #3 this summer. My children are more well-behaved than many kids I see, but I still see a lot of room for improvement. They watch TV too much and my 5 year old begs all day, every day, to play on the computer or play Xbox.

The reality is...being a stay at home mom is hard. Sure, it has it's rewards...unlimited cuddle time, being the one to answer your child's random questions about topics he's too young to be asking about (at least in my opinion), having the opportunity to watch him read his first word, or watching your daughter twirl around the living room in her tutu because she's a "ballet-er." But for all the good times, there are so many down times. I'm social, so are my kids. We are confined to our house and wherever we can walk to. Do you see the problem? They love to play with friends, but we have no way to get there. The older two crave as much attention from me as the baby...but at some point I have to cook, clean, check and answer emails, clean, do laundry, pick up toys, discipline, answer a million "MOOOOOMMMM!"'s, all while trying to keep the baby's schedule...did I mention I breastfeed, too...oh, wait, I have to clean again, or is it make lunch, or maybe it's snack time?

The Princess is 3!

2010-03-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it's been 3 years since our little girl entered this world. I won't bore you with the birth story (even though I still recall every detail including what I ate the night before) but I was in labor during a major storm and the moment she took her first breath all the rain and wind stopped. Looking back, it makes sense. When the Princess enters, everything will stop because she is all that matters!

She has been a princess since birth. I wrote about how I am thankful for her here. Her pregnancy was the only one that was planned from day one and she has changed me in ways she will never know. She is going to be a great friend and amazing dancer or athlete...or both! She takes great care of her baby sister and knows exactly what she wants. That will serve her well. She is one tough cookie and one good actress. I can't wait to see what her future holds and what kind of woman she becomes.

Happy Birthday, my Princess. Mommy loves you all the time!

Not Me Monday...

2010-02-26T07:46:00.000-08:00

I started following MckMama last week and she does this think on Mondays called "Not Me Monday." So...here's my "not me" moment...

I did not let my daughter eat all the caramel before having the apples that were supposed to be dipped in it...no, not me.

I did not eat 5 orange sweet rolls for breakfast on that same day...no, not me!

and I definitely did NOT forget to bring the baby monitor into the bedroom last night b/c that would just be irresponsible of me.

Hope you have a great Monday!

Wow, what a decade!

2010-01-02T10:40:00.000-08:00

When the new year rolls over, I usually look forward and plan what my next year will hold. For some reason this year, I have been looking back a lot. Maybe it's because I'm older, maybe it's because it the end of a decade. Whatever the reason, it's what I'm doing this year.

New Year's Eve was an interesting evening for me. Nothing interesting happened but I had a lot of things swirling through my head about where I was ten years ago. I can remember exactly where I was, who I was with, what I was doing...even what I was wearing! It's sad, I know...I was cursed with a semi-photographic memory. The thing that was so interesting was that I had no idea 10 years ago that I would be where I am now. I had just turned 21 and thought I had it all figured out. Wow, was I ever wrong! I started the decade engaged to my high school sweetheart and thought that ten years from that night I would be married to him and we'd have two boys in our modest house in Murfreesboro. HA! Was I so far off. :) I wouldn't trade my life now for anything. God really does know what he's doing!

In the last decade I have (in no particular order):
graduated college
moved 7 times
sang in two amazing operas
gotten married
went on my first cruise
had 3 beautiful kids
taught middle school (my dream job)
joined an amazing church
started my own business
quit my own business
been to Brazil
lost 2 grandparents
watched my grandfather forget everything
gotten a dog
gained two beautiful nephews and a gorgeous niece
discovered how hard marriage really is
turned the big 3-0 (and I LOVE it)
grown closer to God and pulled away from God
realized how much I love being a mom
...the list could go on and on.

I hope that you have an amazing 2010 and it's everything you want it to be...but keep in mind that you have your plans and God has His. Guess which one wins out in the end??!

Random thoughts

2009-12-18T09:54:00.000-08:00

Lots of things swimming in my head today.

-Christmas is only 1 week away!!! It doesn't feel like it. It rarely does anymore. Something about getting older, I guess, but this year it really doesn't feel like Christmas is here. So what's different about this year? We're still waiting until the last minute to buy gifts...we always do. We're still doing the benevolence program at church...we always do. The difference is we are down to one vehicle right now and it's a truck. We haven't been to the malls or shopping as a family or out and about this year. That makes it very hard to get into the spirit, but very easy to remember why we celebrate this season. It forces me to focus on the WHY not the WHAT.

-I am thankful for God's perfect timing. We can look back and see it in the big things, but what about the little things? I'm not talking about money being there just when we need it or something like that. Today I was about to pull my hair out. The two older kids were driving me up the wall because they are bored and want to do stuff and I have stuff I have to do. When I had just about reached my breaking point, my FIL called and asked if he could take the kids. I said sure and he said, "I thought so. I'm in the driveway!" Praise the Lord I have family who is willing to take both kids off my hands during the day occasionally. I don't know how other moms do it.

-Oh...we are starting up a photography business! We have discovered that we aren't too bad at this picture thing! We both have different strengths behind the camera, but put it together and we can shoot pretty much anything. We are focusing on family photography right now but have done a few headshot sessions, too. If you want to see what we've done you can visit our website.

I guess that's all for now. I'm sure I'll have lots more to say in the coming weeks as we move toward the new year. I always have lofty goals and put them on here. I'll try to make them more realistic this year! :)

Thankful for today

2009-11-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for today, November 24. That means that I have survived yet another year on this planet. :) I am thankful and proud to announce that I am 31 years old today. I am not ashamed of my age, I am proud of it. I have come a long way, especially in the last 10 years, both personally and spiritually.

So here's to my birthday! I hope you have a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving. I know I will. :)

Thankful for Juliana

2009-11-23T18:36:00.000-08:00

Wow, I have three kids! Every day that sinks in a little bit more. I thought we were done at two. :)
Yes, Juliana was truly a surprise. I was petrified at first...not ready for a baby, overwhelmed at the thought of trying to take care of three, how was this going to work? Now, 6 weeks later, I cannot imagine her not being here.
She is already beginning to show her little personality. Not a high-maintenance princess like her sister, but definitely has her needs. She studies everyone and likes to snuggle...when she's in the mood! She isn't completely resistant to change, but doesn't like it too much. She is our little angel and I am thankful everyday that God decided that we needed another beautiful baby in our life.

We do make pretty kids...if I do say so myself.

Thankful for Aaliyah

2009-11-22T20:37:00.000-08:00

"What's your name?"

"Aaliyah Gabrielle Princess!"

And she is. She is our princess. To be honest, I wasn't too excited about having a girl. Ray would rub my belly and talk about how spoiled she was going to be and how she would be his princess. I could only think about what happens when that spoiled little princess turns 13 (I was a middle school teacher, after all). What I didn't realize was how much having a girl would change me. I wanted to wear pretty clothes and look nice. I wanted my hair to look good. I cared about my appearance and wanted to wear....wait for it....PINK! *gasp*
*side note - before having a girl, I wouldn't be caught dead in pink and much preferred my blue jeans and t-shirts to "fashionable" clothes. I didn't care what people thought of my appearance, including my husband.

Aaliyah is our princess and my tomboy all wrapped up into one. She loves attention. She loves life. Give her happy music and she is content to dance all day long. She is the girl who wants to dress up in her pretty dresses and glitter shoes then go in the backyard and dig for worms in the dirt. She loves to color you pretty pictures (that are really just scribbles, but you get the point) and snuggle after her nap. She's hyper-sensitive to the moods that some music creates and will cry if it's too sad. She is silly and loves her brother with every fiber of her being.
She and I had a love/hate relationship at first. She loved to scream and I didn't like her very much. Despite our rough start, I feel more connected to her than I ever thought possible. My love for her runs deeper than I could have imagined. I am thankful for my baby doll...she will never know how much she changed me for the better.

Thankful for Kyler

2009-11-21T08:04:00.001-08:00

So, I haven't been too good at keeping up with the thankful posts for the month. Something about having 3 kids, a dog, a husband, and a house to run...

Speaking of kids, I thought I'd post about how thankful I am for our three beautiful children that God, in His infinite wisdom, decided to bless us with.

Kyler is our only boy. I never thought in a million years that I would only have one boy! I was all psyched up to have a house full of boys when we got married. He is 5 years old going on 15! He is so smart and creative (he knew how to work the DVD player at 9 months old!). He tests my limits with the way he thinks. He can always find a loophole and a way out of something I have told him to do. He can sit down with a box of K'nex and spend a good hour or two just figuring out different things to create and making up a story to go with each creation. He loves his family and friends so much. He is sensitive but loves to wrestle with daddy. He remembers things I never thought he would (which is great becuase he remembers who his great-grandma was) and forgets things when it's convenient (male thing). :) I love him with all my heart and he will always be special to me. After all, he did make me a mommy!

Wow, has it really been that long??

2009-11-18T07:38:00.001-08:00

So sorry to the three people who actually read this blog! I haven't posted since the summer for good reason. Well, partly b/c I was lazy, but mostly b/c life just gets in the way sometimes. I need an outlet again for my feelings and a place to vent and share life, so I'm back up and running. Let's see...what has happened since I last posted.
Oh, yeah.
I HAD A BABY!!!

Juliana Isaias was born on Oct. 11 @ 4:54 am. She was 8 lbs. 9 oz. and 20 1/2 in. It was a quick labor and I had her all natural (and almost without the doctor...again). She is now 5 1/2 weeks old and beautiful. She is more of a snuggler than Aaliyah was, but not near as much as Kyler was. Her brother and sister love her so much that they can't seem to keep their hands off her, which bugs me to high heaven! There isn't much jealousy at all and I am thankful for that. We were worried that Aaliyah would have serious problems if we had another girl, but she has adjusted great. We are slowly getting back into a routine around here and I hope to have Juliana on a semi-predictable schedule soon.
What else is going on, you may ask? Well, in August we moved into a nice little house not far from where we were living before. It's smaller, but works great for us. I'm already looking around for projects to do in the spring. :)
We have also started dabbling in photography...and by "we" I mean my husband. I'm learning a little bit from what he's telling me from classes, websites, books, and discussions with other photographers. We will just have to see where it goes, but so far it's looking promising.
I'm on maternity leave from Walmart and looking to get back in the classroom in the fall, God willing. If His plan is to keep me at home, I'm up for that, too (as long as I can start singing again somewhere).
That's all I can think of for now. I have a Thanksgiving-type post mulling around in my head so maybe I'll get that down before next year! ;)

Have a wonderfully blessed fall day!

My weekend in TX

2009-07-13T11:19:00.001-07:00

I just got back from a quick weekend in Dallas to see my grandpa. This was my last chance to fly before I needed a doctor's note and getting away with three kids will be nearly impossible. I wrote down some thoughts about the weekend, but I will have to post that later. It was hard to process and I'm sure the flight attendant and other passengers near me thought I was crazy when I started crying halfway through the flight. Of course, I could always just claim pregnancy hormones! :) I'll post later about the visit...until then...

Last weekend

2009-07-08T06:58:00.001-07:00

Despite the feelings vented in my last post (I said I would be open and honest), my husband really is a great guy. I was reminded of that last weekend on our anniversary. 6 years of marriage and we finally got to celebrate our anniversary with something other than a dinner out! I was so excited. A weekend without our kids is what I wanted, but I got sooooooo much more!

My mom came and got the kiddos on her way home from work on Friday then I was free! Hubby wasn't able to come and get me so I drove to downtown Nashville to meet him at our hotel for the weekend. The Hutton Hotel was awesome! It's this cute little boutique hotel that used to be an office building. We were on the 11th floor facing downtown.

This was our view

This is the office building he used to work in.

When I walked into the room he had just one of many surprises for the weekend. A brand new Nikon D40 camera!! I was beyond shocked and excited!!!!!!!!! I have just begun to scratch the surface of what all this camera can do. Let's just say that we won't need another camera for many, many, many years.
After getting a little freshened up (it was REALLY hot that day) we decided to go downtown and have some dinner. The storm that came through canceled our plans to go dancing in the park so I chose The Melting Pot for dinner. I have always wanted to go there and now was our chance. It was great and so was the walk to the Riverfront afterward. He did have to remind me to stop talking about the kids, but that was the last time for the whole weekend. :)
Saturday we went to Green Hills mall for some shopping...after all, I needed a dress for the symphony that night! We found a great dress at Macy's that we got an excellent deal on and I'll be able to wear it post-baby, too! I was able to get a pedicure since we got such a great deal on the dress and spend the whole day just being with my husband as his wife. I will never underestimate the power of having some time without the kids ever again! That evening we got dressed up and made our way to the Schermerhorn Symphony Center to see the Nashville Symphony play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

Sunday was just a lazy day. We got up and around kind of late, ate breakfast, and checked out of the hotel. The plan was to go to Arrington Vineyards for a picnic and some jazz, but it was just too hot! We went to a movie instead.

It was a relaxing, wonderful weekend of just being with my husband. I think we realized how important it is for us to have regular dates. We need that for us and the kids need to know that they are not our first priority all the time. Our marriage came first. I think we also realized that raising kids is extremely stressful. Without them, there was no screaming, no fighting, no cross words to each other. If we disagreed about anything (and I don't think we did) we just talked about it and stayed calm. That's the kind of marriage I want all the time!

To my husband:
I love you with all my heart and thank you so much for the wonderful, thoughtful things you did for us this weekend. There is no one else in this world that I would want to be married to or have children with. You really are the love of my life.

Pardon me while I vent

2009-07-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

Before I start, let me say that I love my family. There are days that I just sit back and marvel at what God has blessed me with.
Then there are days that I just want to go back to college and start all over. I go through these phases where I just get so frustrated with being a mom and wife. Why are we expected to do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE in the house? It came about again yesterday after picking up the same mess for the 10th time this week (literally, I counted). When I left for work last night at 5:00 the living room and dining room were fairly picked up. Yes, there was still stuff around and in the floor, but nothing that wouldn't take 5 seconds to pick up and put in it's place...then I came home...at 11:30 pm. I DO NOT understand how my husband, who hates a messy house, can go to bed with it looking like that! There were crayons on the stairs, papers all over the living room, dinner dishes piled up in the sink (at least they were in the sink), my new camera in the floor, my hairbrush on the floor, and various other things scattered around. I picked it all up and tried to go to bed. I couldn't because my mind was racing with everything that has to be done in the next week and a half. (You see, we are moving...again...twice in a year. I won't go into details, but let's just say that we've been here before and I don't like it. It makes it extremely hard to get motivated to start packing up stuff now when I'm picking up two children's and an ADULT'S mess every day.)
Fast forward to today. Here I am looking around at the mess...again. So I send my kids out to play in the backyard. My son decides to make a mud pie and use his little shovel (smart, stay as clean as possible) and my daughter decides to use her hands. She is covered in mud and now they are complaining that they are hot and want to come in...muddy. I look outside and see my daughter's skirt from yesterday wet and covered in mud laying on the deck. Left there by daddy after their trip to the lake last night. AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Is it really too much to ask that the other adult who lives here and helps raise his children clean up just a little??? Really??? I can only take so much of this before I lose my mind.

Did I mention that we have another baby coming in 3 months???!!!! Like I need more messes to clean up and be responsible for!

Coffee

2009-06-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

What is it about coffee that draws me in? I started my coffee habit after my daughter was born (just like mom said I would!). It started as a way to calm the extreme anger I had in the mornings and throughout the day. It helped my depression on those dark winter days and perked me up when I just wanted to crawl back in bed. Well...after I found out I was pregnant a third time, I continued to drink my one cup a day that you are "allowed." However, I realized after a process of elimination that the coffee was making my morning/afternoon/evening sickness ever worse. So, I stopped. This was the first of March. Just last week I had another cup on a day when I was so tired and worn out I didn't think I could stay awake to drive to church, much less teach VBS and then drive home! WOW!! I'd forgotten how much better I felt with that wonderful goodness in my system! :) My husband had been frustrated with my attitude in the mornings, but I haven't received any complaints in the last week since I started drinking coffee again.
Here's my question:
What is it about the coffee that makes me feel this way? It can't be the caffeine, b/c I was drinking a soda in it's place and that didn't do it for me. Is there something else in coffee that picks me up and puts me in a better mood?
How do you feel about coffee?

Sad day

2009-06-23T11:29:00.000-07:00

Not in my life, but in the world of entertainment.

Ed McMahon died today. :( My memories are from the Publisher's Clearing House commercials and Star Search. Most people have great memories of him on Johnny Carson, but, alas, I am too young to have those memories (it was on too late for me).

Jon and Kate have announced they are splitting up. Now I don't know if they are just separating or filing for divorce; the media is using those terms interchangeably (they are not the same thing in my mind). I don't watch this show on a regular basis b/c we don't have cable, but I have seen a few episodes. I'm sad because it looks, from this side, that they have let pride and hurt hinder them from reconciling. In my opinion, as soon as they realized that things were getting off track, they should have cut back on filming (can't stop completely b/c they are under contract and the show is their income) and began to seek help whether from their church or a counselor. Marriages have survived much worse and been healed thanks to God's grace and forgiveness. Only they know what truly happened, but I do hope that they return to God's feet and put Him back at the center of their family. I always hurt for a couple when they decide that divorce is better than staying married. I have not been married for long (compared to some) but we have already been through some very stressful events and come through closer because of it. I hate to see people give up before trying to heal the relationship. My prayers are with this family and their children who, no doubt, know exactly what it going on by this point.

My church is AMAZING!!!

2009-06-08T10:43:00.000-07:00

Not because it's big...and it is. Not because it's 21st century...and it is. Not even because our Pastor and Staff are awesome...and they are!
I love my church because of it's colors. I don't mean the lime green and black logo or the kelly green roof or the many colors of the walls depending on which wing you are in. I mean the colors of the people there.
When I started attending in March of 2000, my boyfriend (at the time) was the only black person regularly at the church. I could ask someone if they had seen him and if they didn't know who I was talking about, I could describe him as the "big, black guy" and they new exactly who I was talking about. I can't do that anymore. We have people from all over calling this church home, now. The awesome thing, though, is not even the adults...it's the kids! We have children from Asia, North America, South America, Africa, and Europe. We have kids every shade from fair skin with freckles to deep, dark brown skin...and I love it. I love it because it shows who we are as a church. We are ALL one body of Christ, regardless of nationality, language, gender, or skin color. Best of all, my children get to go to church with kids who look like they do and kids who don't. Kids who look more like mommy, or daddy, or Nana or PopPop. There...they fit in. Even as they grow older and go to school (where there are still cliques and gangs and racism), I know they will have a safe place where they can learn about God with kids who are comfortable being who they are and don't feel the need to gravitate toward kids who look like them. Thank you God for Lifepoint Church!

Our Weekend

2009-06-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

We had an awesome time this weekend! K had a game on Friday night and they won!!! I was so proud of him and the team. After the game was over we dropped the kids back at Nana and PopPop's house and off we went on our first date in almost a year! I was tempted to run away and leave the kids for the night...but quickly realized that K had another game Sat. morning. :( Hubby let me choose where to go and I decided on a Japanese Steakhouse in town that I've been wanting to try. Not bad. Our cook/chef was very "just doing my job" and that disappointed us, but I think we'd be willing to try it again sometime.
Saturday morning brought us to the ball field for the second of three games this weekend. We played the number one team in the league...and they still remain number one. It was not our best game by any stretch of the imagination. It was, however, a good learning opportunity for K. He did not play his best, and it was obvious. We were upset and were able to tell him why. I think he got it. He, understandably, has a hard time paying attention when he's on the field. He's one of the youngest players (4 years old on a 5/6 year old team) and baseball is not exactly the most busy of sports. There is quite a bit of watching and waiting...not exactly his style.
Sunday brought a lot of activity. We went to the first service at our awesome church and saw several people we haven't seen in a while b/c we are usually at the second service in a different part of the building. We left there to grab a quick bite and then home to get dressed for game number 3. The team didn't have enough players to field a whole team so we had to forfeit, but the coaches agreed to let the kids play anyway (it just wouldn't count). They had a fun time and played well. K played MUCH better than on Sat. He was in a different position and actually made a few plays......almost. He tried, he paid attention, and he listened to the coaches. He was proud b/c he played his best and he knew it...and so did we. :) Sunday evening brought out the grill for a Caribbean grill feast followed by family movie night in the living room.
It was a great weekend. Busy, but for some reason, I feel refreshed.

Summer Fun

2009-06-05T13:23:00.001-07:00

Our friend Jennifer picked us up this morning and we took a little trip to our local Splash pad. It was a little chilly, but that didn't stop Kyler and his friend Serena. He is only 2 weeks older than she is and they have TONS of fun together. Aaliyah didn't get in at all, but did eventually play in the puddle at the edge. Here are some pics I took.

Jennifer's oldest, Rebecca...too cool! :)

need some suggestions

2009-06-02T07:59:00.001-07:00

Does anyone have any suggestions for good, Christ-centered homeschool materials for preschool? I want to be prepared if we can't get Kyler into a preschool program next year. It would be nice if there was something that could be tailored down for Aaliyah, too! Or, if there are any suggestions about what I could have her do during school time, that would be greatly appreciated, too. She won't go play by herself because she wants to be just like "Kywer." Thanks!

Why?

2009-06-01T09:38:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I was the type of kid to always ask "why?" (mom?), but I know there are several things in life that I wonder why they happen. These are some things that have popped into my head lately:

Why does my 2-year-old daughter know how to sing with a pretend microphone while looking at herself in the mirror?

Why do my children tan just as easily through sunblock as they do without anything on at all?

Why is it so hard for me to season food correctly?

And my husband made a comment twice yesterday that has me wondering...why have I been in such a grumpy mood ever since my daughter (child #2) was born??

pregnancy update

2009-05-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

For those who still read this and/or care...
I am now 19 weeks (almost halfway!!) and feel great. I feel "normal" most days and take full advantage of the days I have a lot of energy to clean house, do laundry, mow the yard, take the kids somewhere, etc.
My weight goal for this pregnancy was to NOT hit 200 lbs. I know you shouldn't be concerned with weight when you're creating a child inside, but I can't help it. After gaining 35 lbs. with my first and it taking nearly 4 years to get it off, I'd rather not have that issue again. I've always struggled with my weight as it is...I don't need any extra! So far, I'm right on track with where I want to be.

I won't bore you with anymore or that, just know that the baby is healthy and the doctor is not concerned with my weight gains or losses.

We also had a routine ultrasound today. Everything looks great! We don't know what it is, and we wanted it that way. We already have one of each and wanted this one to be a surprise. I have my feelings, but unless I talk to you personally on a daily basis, you won't know what those feelings are! :)

I guess that's all for now. I have some ideas about the direction I want to take with this blog in the near future, so be looking for some changes and if you like what you read...pass it along!

okay, I'm back

2009-05-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

As my last post said, I have been away for a while. This was not a planned break from blogging, but it did give me a chance to get some things in order throughout my day and get back on some sort of "schedule" with the kids. A lot has happened since Jan. On Feb. 2 we had an opportunity to help someone in a capacity that we have never done before. We showed God's love and provided as best we could to a young lady who had come to the church for help. In the end (around the end of March) a "tough love" decision had to be made and she chose to go back out on her own. We continue to pray for her and ask that you, too, please pray for K. She has a long road ahead of her and we can only hope that for the brief time that our lives were intertwined we were able to give her a glimpse of what life with God is all about.
Two weeks after K entered our lives, we found out that, by God's plan, we were going to be adding to our family. Baby #3 is due Oct. 17 and we are thrilled, yet scared and excited all at the same time. This was not in our original plan for this year, but God has an amazing ability to do whatever it takes to make us focus on Him. And believe me, I am beginning to focus more and more on Him, because only with His strength and power will we be able to parent 3 children under 6 (Kyler will turn 5 two weeks after my due date)!
I think that pretty much gets you caught up on the big stuff. R began a new job in mid-February and business is picking way up...even in the mortgage industry. Praise God for that! I continue to work in the evenings at Walmart 4 days a week. I love it, but it is getting harder and harder with the extra exhaustion from the pregnancy and the earlier mornings with the kids (they wake up earlier in the spring and summer months b/c of the sun!).
And lastly, I would love some feedback. I would love to find a way for this blog to earn a little cash on the side, but not sure how. I don't really have a "theme" that I write about except whatever is on my mind or happening in our family. If you have any ideas, they would be greatly appreciated.

Have a wonderfully blessed day.

I know, I know

2009-04-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

It's been forever since I updated my blog. I took on quite a bit emotionally and physically in the first part of February and haven't really had time (or the energy) to write. I promise, I will resume. More to come...really...I promise!

Coupons, coupons, coupons!!!

2009-01-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

Whether you use canned chicken or could just use some for a few recipes, this is an awesome chance to win 10 coupons!!! You can enter 3 times here and 3 times here for six chances to win 10 cans of FREE Swanson canned chicken.

Good Luck!

attempting to be creative

2009-01-26T12:01:00.000-08:00

with dinner, that is. I am trying to make the most of what we have to make what we buy last longer. I came to the realization that I'm falling back into the quick, easy meals and that will end up costing us more in the long run. While I'm home, I need to try new recipes and think outside the Hamburger Helper box. :)

So...last Tuesday I made this...

Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza
I made the crust from scratch (because, yes, I like to...really!), used barbecue sauce instead of pizza sauce, mozzarella then hamburger and bacon crumbles on top of that topped with cheddar cheese. I think it tasted good, the kids liked it...I didn't get a final verdict from the picky one of the house, though. He hasn't complained yet and hasn't cracked any lame jokes about it, so I guess it was okay.

Wednesday, I found a recipe for turkey cornbread pot pie on this site. I had chicken instead of turkey and an actual cornbread mix I put on top instead of the refrigerated cornbread twists.

Once again, the kids and I liked it (they even ate their vegetables), but the picky one didn't say anything. There are a lot of options on this one that I will play with and see if I can actually create a recipe that's mine.

Just a few links

2009-01-05T11:38:00.000-08:00

These are some of the blogs that I read. They are awesome if you are looking to cut way back either out of necessity or because you get a thrill out of stretching your money as far as you possibly can.

$5 Dinners - this lady feeds her family of 4 for $5 per night! It's amazing. I'm going to start trying to make one of her recipes one a week and see how it works out. ***BTW she is also giving away a $25 Kroger gift card right now. Go and enter until Wed. afternoon!!!
the Bargain Shopper Lady - nice site. She gives lots of coupon codes for online shopping and great tips here and there. I found out about her site from Jamie.
Being Frugal is Fabulous - I think the title of her blog says it all! She has codes for all kinds of freebies and discounts.
Money Saving Mom - posts great deals and coupons from all over. She also has another blog about being a mom of little ones. That one I LOVE, too!

Hope these help you if you are looking to start saving more in 2009!

Happy 2009!!

2009-01-05T11:17:00.005-08:00

Oh, that seems weird. 2009...already? didn't we just have 2007? what happened to 2008??

It's amazing how fast time passes the older you get. I always say that I'm going to just "live in this moment" so that I don't forget what it felt like, looked like, smelled like...then I forget. I get too busy planning ahead and looking to the next thing that I never really and truly soak it all in. My wedding day was no exception...but that's another story.
I'm not making any resolutions this year. What's the point? I never keep them beyond 6 weeks...2 months, max. It's just too hard. Let's take a moment and look back at last year's list of "goals." Go ahead...I'll wait...really...okay, are you back? Here they are (with my added commentary) if you didn't go look at the post.

eat better (but isn't that on everyone's list?)**yeah, didn't happen, but I did lose some weight!
exercise more consistently (again, on everyone's list)**yeah, didn't happen
make a budget and stick to it (takes cooperation from the husband, so we'll see about that one)**yeah, didn't happen...are we seeing a pattern, yet??
increase my show schedule and be more effecient and effective at my business**quit my home-based business so...yeah, didn't happen
take time to stop and enjoy my children (I'm guilty of thinking that they are in my way instead of getting down and playing with them)**I think I actually did better at this one!!
start looking on the positive side of things first**always a struggle, but I had my moments that I actually did
let my husband know how much I appreciate him working so hard so that I can work from home and take care of our children**this falls under the category of slacker wife...didn't do it
make time for "date nights" once a month, every month**yeah, didn't happen.

So...as we can see...not good at keeping resolutions. This year, I've just come up with a few things that I'd like to do. They have nothing to do with changing who I am or what I look like. They have everything to do with spending more time with people. Enjoying the company of others...and sometimes my husband :)

in 2009 I'd like to:
take a wine tasting class
have friends over (sans kids) for a dinner party-type get together
have a weekend without kids to spend with my husband (preferable away from home)
host or attend a girls night with no guilt
highlight my hair and get it cut in a totally new style (okay, changing my look, but it's just hair, it grows back)
go on more than one date with my husband
start teaching again (had to put that on there...I miss SMS)

Just a simple list. What's yours?

Remembering Christmas

2009-01-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

Just a few things I will always remember from this Christmas.

-We had very little money, but a "whole lotta love"
-The theme this year was "making memories." No, we didn't really have a theme, but that is what seemed to keep creeping back into our minds.
- First Christmas without Grandma...very hard. Not that we got to see them every Christmas, but just knowing that we can't was rough. One of my gifts was Grandma's diamond dinner ring and my brother got Grandpa's wedding ring. I will never forget the look on his face.
- my son is very selfish...I guess that's typical for a 4-year-old. We only had a few presents under the tree this year (like 4 or 5 each) for the kids and when everything was opened he said, "is this it? is this all I got? this isn't what I wanted. Where's my camera?" I don't know what else he said at the point because that's when I started crying. The weird thing for me, though, is that he has wonderful moments when he wants to help someone who doesn't have anything. So confusing.
- my husband was given my grandpa's scroll saw. The look on his face was priceless, too.

Hope your holiday was sweet and memorable.

Christmas fun

2008-12-29T12:03:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the only pictures we have are of Christmas morning at our house. The camera batteries decided to die as soon as we left. :( Maybe I can get some of the kids and my brother together before he leaves at the end of this week. or not.
Anyway, forgive how I look. Glamor isn't exactly on my list of priorities at 6:00 in the morning. And yes, those are the same pajamas Kyler wore last year. New PJs for Christmas Eve were the first thing to get cut from our meager Christmas this year. They did get some from grandparents (thank you!!) but not until Christmas Day.

Helping Hands Christmas

2008-12-29T11:28:00.000-08:00

This was our 5th year for the Helping Hands Christmas Tree at our church. The first year was rough. Kyler was 6 weeks old, we had never done anything like this before, and we had no idea what to expect. We still helped 200 kids that year, but what chaos!!
Fast forward five years. The applications were taken, screened, phone calls made two weeks or more before delivery day, kids were adopted out to church members and members of the local business community, and when it was all said and done we were able to help 240 kids!!! It was so awesome to look back at these pictures and see everyone who showed up to help deliver all those gifts! We had none left behind and only one person not at home (in fact, she was out of town)! That is so amazing! Thank you so much to all of you who "adopted" , shopped, wrapped gifts, and delivered the hundreds of presents to these kids. Without you, this would never have been possible. YOU showed up in force to show God's love and compassion to these families.

Thanks to my hubby and Jim T for taking these pics. I was wrangling two kids in all this craziness.

wow

2008-12-03T11:19:00.000-08:00

has it really been that long since I blogged??? It's been nearly a month! So sorry! Not that I have that many readers. :)
This will be random because a lot is happening (at least in my mind):
- been dealing with a lot of stuff in my mind lately. I started this blog to write my feelings out and work on expressing them a little better. Unfortunately, many of the things I've been working through don't belong on the web for all of eternity. I'm still dealing with inadequacy as a wife and mom and some self-esteem-type stuff. Really struggling with this season of my life.
- Have you heard that the economy sucks?? Sorry to put it so blunt. It does. At least I know that we aren't alone. There are a lot of people who are hurting financially much worse that we are. I am reminded of that constantly.
- I had a birthday. I was so excited to turn 30!! I wanted to have a party. I wanted to celebrate big and loud. Key words: wanted to. Unfortunately, I work evenings in retail. There is no night off between now and New Year's. No time to celebrate. No money to celebrate. So, just like every other birthday...it came and went. Not happy about it, but such is life.
- Thanksgiving was blah. It felt like any other day, but with a big meal thrown in. Still didn't get a nap...still had to go to work. Yeah, fun. :\
- Looking for ways to earn some more money without having to really work (isn't everyone?) So, ran across this in a few blogs that I read. It looks good because I do a lot of searches on the internet during the day. Basically you earn points for searches and those add up to earn you gift cards. It's not much, but at least it's something. Getting "paid" to do what I already do. If you're interested, you can click here or I'm putting a banner on my sidebar you can click on.
- Finally, I discovered a new blog today. I already LOVE it. This lady has two kids who are almost exactly the same age as mine (of course, she's pregnant and I AM NOT!) and is writing about the realities of life with little kids at home. Come to find out...it's not just me! So, if you're interested, I'm sure Mom of Littles would love to have you visit!

I think that's all for now. I'll post again soon (hopefully).

Veterans in my life

2008-11-11T11:37:00.001-08:00

Today is the day we set aside as a nation to honor those who have served and sacrificed to preserve our nation's freedom. Please do not forget that, although you may not agree with this war or that war, these brave men and women have served our country proudly and of their own free will.
I come from a family of soldiers. I am proud on this day to list those in my family who have or who are serving in our military:

Sgt. First Class Ed Stevens - Tennessee Army National Guard - and my dad :)
Robert - Tennessee Army National Guard*
Deborah Kallisto - United States Air Force
Greg Barnes - United States Army (served one tour in Desert Storm)
Justin - United States Navy* (currently serving in the Middle East)

These are just immediate family and first cousins. I have several extended family members who have also served and I am just as proud of them. Please take at least one moment today to say a prayer for those who have served in our military so that you have the freedom to say a prayer for them!

(*first name and branch only due to safety and security reasons)

Aaliyah funny

2008-11-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

Aaliyah has started talking quite a bit since the middle of Sept. She coming up with more and more words...some of them are even understandable...sort of. Anyway, here is what she just told me.

Almost time for nap and I ask her
Me: Where is your lovie?
A: uhstais (upstairs)
Me: Why is it upstairs?
A: 'cause

Oh, joy. It's already started! :)

more birthday pictures

2008-11-10T11:52:00.000-08:00

So...since Kyler's birthday party was actually in October (with 7 other kids!) and I missed it (because of my unplanned trip to OK) we decided to have Grandma over for lunch on his actual birthday (last Sunday). We grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and Grandma brought an awsome ice cream cake from Publix. This was cake number two. I made a third cake for small group that night. I didn't get a picture of it, but let's just say that my son loves chocolate as much as I do, and the cake did NOT disappoint!

Here's the ice cream cake

blowing out the candle

excited to get a piece

Cheese!

and one of the princess, of course

Hubby bragging

2008-11-10T11:43:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to brag more on my husband. We've come a llloooooooong way in our almost 5 1/2 years of marriage and I am very proud of that! On Saturday, Aaliyah woke up at 5:30 (yes, a.m.). I was groaning myself out of bed when he said, "I'll get her." Yeah! I get to sleep a few extra minutes before I'm woken up to make coffee and breakfast. A few minutes later hubby opens the door and says, "how do I make the coffee?"
Now...before you say anything...he really and honestly does not know how I make the coffee. He just knows that it's there in the morning when he needs it, no questions asked.
I tell him how much water and how much beans to grind and he closes the door. The next thing I know it's 7:00! I got to sleep until 7:00!!!!! I was sooo excited! Every now and then he does this for me and it is WONDERFUL! I may have gotten to sleep longer, but...breakfast had to be made. :)

I'm trying to get back

2008-11-10T11:29:00.000-08:00

First of all, I want to apologize for the lack of thoughtful blogs. Most recently they have just been pictures and captions and very shallow-type things. I have been going through a lot of "stuff" since Grandma passed away and frankly didn't think it would have been good to air it all out on the internet!
Without going into too much detail, I have had to admit some things to myself and to others in the last couple of weeks and it hasn't been easy. I have come to the realization that I have one of two problems: 1)I have an anger problem, as in I don't know how to handle it and explode a lot, or 2) I have a hormone problem that causes these wonderful mood shifts from one day to the next. I never know when I wake up if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. For someone who needs to know the plan and what is expected of her...this is NOT a good thing. I have tried to track my days to see if it is directly related to certain times (as in..of the month...get it?), but it's not. There was one day last week when it was cloudy, I didn't have any coffee, and hubby left for work at 7:00 AM (which is really early for us). Add to that my 4 year old son's severe attention-seeking behavior and we had a full blown "mean momma."
I am not looking for suggestions nor am I looking for help. I am simply putting my thoughts out there. This is something that I am praying about and I know that God will give me the strength to calm down when I get really angry. I already saw progress today. I was ready to blow my top over something very small and stopped to take a deep breath first. Amazing how calming that is. I was very excited over that small step! :)

Four Years Old, already???!!

2008-11-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Kyler's 4th Birthday. I can't believe my baby boy is growing up! He is such an awsome, smart, inquisitive child. I couldn't have asked for a better son. Easy as a baby, challenging (to say the least) as a preschooler. I imagine we will have a lot of fun times ahead. Happy Birthday Goober!

Beautiful Fall Saturday

2008-10-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

After Kyler's soccer game on Sat. we were going to go to the Pumpkin Patch again (with a working camera this time). The decision was made, however, that after the wonderful rain we had ALL day Friday, it would be too muddy and yucky. So...we went to my mom and dad's for lunch and caramel apples. Here are some pictures.

unwrapping the caramels

Aaliyah helped, too!

Kyler snuck a couple.

Look out! Here comes Daddy!

"Daddy! Get out of the caramels!!"

Ready for the stove.

Musical break

dipping the first apple

This is FUN!!!

Yummy!!!

Kyler and Grandma's handy work

Whew! I don't know about you, but that wore us out!

Enjoying the "fruit" of his labor!

to anyone still out there

2008-10-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I am trying to get back into the routine I started when we moved here and am falling into laziness instead. Old habits die hard. I am making a goal to post at least twice per week...we'll see how that goes! :)

Tag...you're it!

2008-10-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

So...apparently I have been tagged by Mandi (who, coincidentally spelled my name wrong). I have to list 7 interesting things about myself, and find 7 people to tag. I am not sure these 7 things will be interesting...they may just be things that surprise you about me (or not). :)

1. When I was younger I used to put on shows for my parent's friends when they came over. By younger I mean until I was like 13 and by shows I mean putting up the boom box and singing and dancing for them (and it was RRREEEEAAAALLL bad)

2. I envy stay-at-home moms who get to leave their house with their kids.

3. I met my husband online...from a personals ad...that I put up...while engaged to someone else.

4. When we found out we were pregnant with Kyler we both cried...him because he was happy...me because I was upset and mad.

5. I swore I would never become a coffee drinker...then I had a second child...you don't want to see me before coffee now!

6. I tried out for cheerleading in 7th grade...and was laughed at by pretty much everyone.

7. I used to think I was the world's worst procrastinator...then I realized (recently, actually) that my husband is 10 times worse!!

The "tagged" 7
1. Alison...like she has time with two daughters now!

2. Jenni - wife of the oldest son of my parent's best friends in Oklahoma (did you get all that?)

3. Judy - I'm sure she'll have tons of (and by tons, I mean way too much) fun with this!

4. Jeanne - a great friend from church who will be moving to West Africa to live her life for Christ.

5. Becca - another friend from church who has such smart and funny boys (oh, and we used to be in her Bible Study)

6. Jamie - cool chick we used to live near, go to church with, and participate in a small group with. She and her family love God so awsomely and have such a neat life!

7. Rachel - another church bud and choir trouble-maker. Our #2's are just a few weeks apart.

Even if you're not interested in my 7 things...check out these friend's blogs. Each has an awsome story to tell.

update

2008-10-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted more regularly. I will try to do better in the coming weeks.

I called Grandma on Thursday and she was very tired. At least she was able to respond a little when she wasn't falling asleep on the phone. I got to tell her I loved her and she said she loved me. I didn't know that would be the last time I would talk to her. Grandma passed away on Sat. evening. She was asleep...there was very little suffering...nearly everyone was there. Mom and Dad were going for another reason, but were there. She held on until they got there.
I was very upset that I did not get to see her. I was waiting for her to be more awake to tell her some things. It never happened. I wish my children could have had the memories with their Great-Grandma that I had with my Great-Grandma. She was supposed to live longer...she never got sick...why did it have to happen like this?
I hear people say "don't question God" when dealing with sudden death and trials (not that this was that sudden, but you know what I'm saying). Who says you can't question God?? I question Him all the time. Does that diminish my faith in His plan? NO! Does that mean I don't love God? NO!! Questioning and wanting to know why are part of being human. It doesn't mean that we don't trust Him or love Him or that we stop believing...this is how He designed us...to ask why...that is how He reveals His plan a lot of the time. We ask "why" and He says "because I need you to go through this so that you can minister to someone else...so you can show who I AM in your weakness."
I have no doubt that Grandma is rejoicing and praising God...right alongside her parents and her sister. She is not in pain...her 6 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren will know who she was. We will tell stories, attempt the recipes that she never wrote down, and tell them how much she loved them. She showed God's love even when it went against everything she was raised to believe. She allowed her heart to be changed to accept my husband and children, and for that I will always be grateful. My husband and children were allowed to know her and love her because she allowed God to change her heart. Thank you, God, for my grandmother. She will be missed, but we will see her again.

Keep our family in your prayers. Viewing is Tuesday night, funeral Wednesday afternoon in Oklahoma.

Whoa! Didn't see that coming!

2008-10-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

My friends Alison and Brad need help, now!!! They have been contacted about adopting their sweet daughter's new sibling coming any day! They need to raise A LOT of money in the next 48 hours.
Hard? Yes.
Impossible? NO!

Go visit her blog to read the story and how you can help. We love Norah and Brad and Alison. We can't wait to see where God takes them on this journey!

update

2008-09-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

I talked to Grandma on Wednesday...apparently 48 hrs after chemo is when it hits her. I will start calling her on Tuesdays when she feels better. She was okay...very tired...but sounded better than last week. Grandpa was taken to the hospital for evaluation and to change his meds. He got very beligerent and aggressive yesterday so my uncle took him. His doctor was on call when they got to the hospital, but grandpa didn't recognize her at all. Thankfully, he didn't hurt grandma. He'll be there for about a week. My great aunt's cancer is Stage 1...so that is good. I'm not sure what the course of treatment is, but I'm glad she caught it early.

As I was telling some people on Sunday...this is very hard for those of us the family who are caregivers. We want to help...I haven't been able to because of several reasons. I wanted at the very least to be able to do something for my mom to lift some of her burden (do something physically, that is...I am praying, of course). Well, this weekend she and dad are going to NC to see a friend play at an inn there. We are keeping their "child" Kris. At least I can do that for her so she can go and relax and recharge just a little bit. He is staying outside for now, though. He and Brennan love to wrestle so they don't get to come in until the house is a little more "Kris-proof" and they have worn themselves out sufficiently. Here is what Kris is doing now.

I'll try to get some more pics to put up later...after the camera batteries are charged.

Have a great day!

add one more to the mix

2008-09-19T13:01:00.001-07:00

Either God thinks we are stronger than we think we are (duh)...or he's going to do something huge that satan just doesn't like...
Just got a call from my mom...grandma's sister's (my great aunt) biopsy came back cancer. That brings the grand total of breast cancer diagnosis in my family to 7 (I think). Needless to say I have scheduled an appointment with my GYN to talk about a baseline mammogram at 30. I'd say that's a strong family history...wouldn't you?

oh, and grandma is doing better today. she's more alert and her fever is coming down.

update on Grandma

2008-09-17T19:25:00.001-07:00

Mom came home yesterday after spending 10 days with Grandma as she started her chemo treatments. My uncle is "on duty" right now. Mom is tired but glad she got a full night's sleep last night.
I called grandma yesterday just to check up on her and my uncle answered the phone. He told me that she was not having a good day. She was very tired...would fall asleep walking to the bathroom...and not eating much. I called back today and talked to her for a little bit, then I talked to my uncle some more.

Wow, how a week can change things. When I talked to grandma last week, we carried on a good conversation. She sounded weak, but was cohearent and understandable. When I talked to her today, it's like she didn't have much of a clue as to what I was talking about. My uncle said that's about how she's been this week. We will know after next week if chemo is helping or not. Then the plans start to get us out there to visit...somehow. I am trusting God will provide what we need to get out there to see her and spend some good quality time talking and remembering and letting her enjoy her great-grandkids as much as she is able.
We still don't know the primary source of the cancer (liver is rarely the primary source) and a couple more things have come up in the family in this "realm" of possible cancer or cancer-related type things (is that vague enough?)

Specific prayers:
Mom's energy and strength and health
God's will to be done in Grandma's illness (if he doesn't want healing, then we don't either)
Grandpa's health - the days he doesn't know what's going on will be especially hard
calm and peace and understanding in our family...if God uses this to bring family members to Him, then I am all for that (as hard as it is to admit, sometimes)

thank you for reading

Kyler funny about adoption

2008-09-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

going into church talking about two girls adopted from China, J and A.

Me: J is Pastor Pat's daughter that they adopted from China, like A's parents adopted her from China
Kyler: and like we adopted Aaliyah from your belly at the baby doctor's

I wonder how the child's mind thinks sometimes! :)

So what happened...

2008-09-15T14:11:00.001-07:00

I hear that a lot at work from former students. "Mrs. King! How are you, etc... What happened that you have to work at WalMart? Did they fire you?"

I never go into all the details with them (they are just teenagers who think they know my whole life:) ) just tell them that I stay home with my kids now during the day and work in the evenings. Here is the ugly truth:

I LOVE my job. I really do. I hear lots of people say, "ugh, walmart?!" and things similar, but my job is great. I get to smile at someone who hasn't seen a smile all day, maybe all week. I get to help people get out as soon as possible (no one likes to wait in line at walmart). I get to be God's light to someone who just wants to know why I'm so happy, even when I'm having a bad day. I truly believe God has put me at this job for a purpose. Everyday I walk in I ask God to let me shine on someone that day.

So when you see me behind the register at WalMart...just know that I'm there because I want to be...because God put me there for HIS purpose...because it allows me to be home with my kids and still keep my sanity!

Godology - God Part 1

2008-09-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

I know I've kept you waiting...you're probably in suspense to find out what out last Godology lecture was about. :)

THEOLOGY PROPER - THE DOCTRINE OF GOD
I know, I know...big words.

According to Pat, we will be spending a few weeks on this topic. I'm excited. I love learning and to learn about something new is just icing on the cake. **sidenote: by "new" I mean stuff I was just expected to know, but never really learned, just acted like I did**

There are several false views of God in our world; many of which I had heard of, but was never really sure what their views were.

Atheism is the denial of God. Not knowing God and denying him...complete denial that God even exists. There are two types of Atheism, 1) absolute - absolute denial of God (with a moral twist: if there is no God, I can do whatever I want with no eternal consequences) 2)practical - denies God's existence with their actions, not verbally.
Agnosticism - not complete denial, there could be a god or there may not, just not enough proof.
Polytheism - belief in many gods (think Hinduism, Greek and Roman mythology)
Pantheism - belief that god is in everything and everything is god
Deism - acknowledges that there is a god that was the creator, but that's where it ends, denys scripture or anything supernatural, does NOT believe that the creator is also the sustainer

Many people in the world believe that "everything is relative." No absolute truth. This is agnosticism, aka: situational ethics, post-modernism

God CANNOT be proven scientifically...but neither can Lincoln's assassination or any other historical event. In order to be proven scientifically, it has to be re-created. We can't re-create history. We can, however, give reasonable evidence as to why we believe God exists. God has left his "tracks" all over this world for us to see (like deer tracks, you see them, but not the deer...you just know it was there).

There are 4 Major Arguments for the existence of God (General Revelation)
1. Cosmological - only God could have created a universe this great, too many things just right to have been left up to chance or a "big bang"
2. Teleological - everything in this world is ideal for our existence, the order and design of this universe is perfect for humans, the way all our organs and joints work together...only God
3. Ontological - our intuition and reason proves God's existence, even those who have never heard the name of God or Jesus have a need to worship something and explain how we came to exist.
4. Moral - everyone has a general idea of right and wrong and that there must be some form of justice...only God could have established that in ALL humans.

I'm excited to see where we go next in knowing who God is and how we know he truly is God.

Talked to Grandma yesterday...

2008-09-12T12:22:00.000-07:00

Her words, "I'm doing better today than the last couple of days."

Some lesser-known side effects of chemo hit her kinda fast and hard, but had been dealt with when I talked to her.

I don't know what to say when I talk to her. I want to be optimistic (more for my sake than anything) but I don't know what the prognosis is and I don't think the doctors have given one yet. They have to wait for the chemo to start working (or not work) before they can make an educated guess. I want to be there...but I can't. I want to hold on to her...but I can't. I want to hear all of her stories that she has to tell...but I can't.
The truth is...I don't know her as well as I want to. I know and I understand why we moved. I know that mom and dad did the best they could to get us out there about once a year. But I'm still jealous. Jealous of my cousins who were closer and got to spend more time with them. Jealous that they have memories that I don't. Jealous that they get to see her now...and I don't know if I ever will again. Why didn't I know this in April???? Why couldn't I have known???
I look at the quilts that she gave me. Ones that she finished because Great-grandma couldn't. I remember sitting on her kitchen counter eating vanilla wafers and peanut butter and looking through the cabinets for Grandpa's peppermint Extra gum. I even remember what the jar that he kept it in looked like.
I wanted my children to know their great-grandparents as long as I did. I have real memories of them. I didn't want to have to tell my children that their great-grandparents died when they were young. They are really the only ones they have. (My husband's grandfather has only met Kyler once and that was last May. I've only met him once and that was the day before we got married!)
I'm sorry if this is all over the place. Words are coming out faster than I can type. I'm going to go for now. I'm sure there will be more sooner rather then later.

What do you think?

2008-09-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

I am trying another background. I thought this was a good representation of our family, but also a reminder that we feel called to be the hands and feet of Jesus in South America. Does it make sense without the explaination?

Kyler funny

2008-09-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

When I came home from work Tues. night, my husband tells me a funny from Kyler.

(my best recollection of the conversation)
K - I need to poop
R - okay, just let me know when you're done.
K - okay
a few moments later
R - you okay?
K - yes
R - you need a book?
K - no
few moments pass
K - daddy, can you bring me a magazine?

Ha, Ha! I thought it was hilarious! Then...yesterday, we had this conversation.

K - mommy, hurry up, I have to pee
Me - then go in your bathroom
K - but I want to use yours
Me - okay, I'm done, go
couple of minutes later, I hear him yell something to me and I don't understand so I go to check on him

This is what I found in my bathroom:

Help for Haiti

2008-09-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

Ike hit Haiti very hard and there is a lot of devastation. To read about some of the damage and how you can help you can go here or here.

And here we go

2008-09-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

Part of growing up is seeing those around you growing older, too. I've never (in my adult life) though of my grandparents as old and never really contemplated what life would be like without them. Even though I've basically grown up 12 hours away from them, they've always been there...until Sept. 2000. This is when I lost my first grandparent (dad's dad). It wasn't too hard, though. He was unhappy and was ready to die. No, he hadn't been sick for a long time and he wasn't in pain, just unhappy and ready. Kind of hard to cry over that.
I've realized that most people have their "favorite" grandparents and then "the other ones." I've realized that I just relate better to one set than the other. Mom's parents are very down-to-earth farmer-types (okay, they were farmers). There is a very large extended family and everyone is fairly close regardless of how far, physically, they are.
Dad's parents were quite a bit different. There always seemed to be an elephant in the room. Their house was very neat and orderly...complete with doilies on the chairs and end tables.
I've been fairly protected from death (by God's grace) in my life. The only deaths I've had in my life that really affected me were my two dogs and my great-grandma (in 1999). Now, in the last 6 months, it had come a lot closer. No one has passed, yet, but I know it will happen. Last month my dad's mom was in the hospital with E. coli. When you're 83 and already diagnosed with a lot of other things, this is NOT good. She pulled through, though, and is doing good.

Grandpa (mom's dad) has Alzheimer's and it's progressing.

Then, last week, Grandma (mom's mom) was diagnosed with liver cancer.

It's very large and spread to the lungs and the spleen. The problem is, liver is secondary and they don't know where the primary source is ( or was). She starts chemo today...they can't do radiation on the liver...we have no idea how it will respond. I have a lot of thoughts that have been running through my head about this, but this post is already getting very long. I'll save them for tomorrow (or maybe just later today). Keep grandma in your prayers (and my mom and her brother and sister, too). This is going to be hard on a lot of us.

First soccer game.

2008-09-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

Kyler had his first soccer game on Sat. We were all excited...cold, but excited. I mis-judged the temperature and we were a bit chilly on that cloudy, dreary, brezzy morning. It's been a looooong time since I've been to the soccer fields and it all came back to me VERY quickly. Dress warm, bring a blanket, be prepared for pretty much anything.
Anyway...his team doesn't actually play any games until the last two weeks. This is just a chance to get them acquainted with the ball, basic skills, and rules of the game. In a couple of years, he'll be playing "magnet ball" for real...just don't tell him! Here are some pictures of our big day:

All buckled in and ready to go!

Excited to watch brother play!

First ones to the field...

...so let's warm up a little.

playing with mommy (no, I didn't play as a kid)

he came over to us to say hi to Grandma and Grandpa and we told him to go back (he wasn't happy)

coach Kayla (one of my former students) showing him how to push the ball with his laces

Grandma, Grandpa and Aaliyah watching all the fun

at least he can follow the coaches instructions!

chasing the coaches with the balls

His favorite game...Shark in the Water.

hubby bragging

2008-09-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

My husband is not a flower-giver by any stretch of the imagination. I have received flowers from him on 3 occasion (twice while we were dating and once on Valentine's Day 2006). Well...yesterday he came home with these

My first response was, THANK YOU!!! Then I started thinking..."Honey? What did you do?" His response was, "nothing." He brought me flowers for no reason! MAJOR brownie points. :)

New hairstyles

2008-09-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

still haven't gotten a pic of the single ponytail on top, but here's an attempt at a "real" ponytail.

The good thing is that I can change her hairstyle everyday...the bad thing is that I have to do something to her hair everyday. If not, this is what I find in the crib after nap #1...

And one more from yesterday...

Everybody now..."Stop, in the name of love. Before you break my heart..."

Have a nice day!

I need a makeover...

2008-09-04T11:22:00.000-07:00

my blog does, that is. Well, I personally need a makeover, too, but that is for a different time. I am trying to find just the right background (that I don't have to pay for) so bare with me as things change over the next few days...or weeks...or months. I'm a bit indecisive at times. :)

Girls Night Out

2008-08-29T12:23:00.001-07:00

FBC Smyrna is having a Girl's Night Out!!!! Sept. 19th and I can't wait. There will be CHOCOLATE, great entertainment, CHOCOLATE, fun with old and new friends, CHOCOLATE, games to play, oh...and CHOCOLATE!!! I had an awsome time last year and look forward to it again. Click on the link on my sidebar for more info and I'll see you there!

God-ology - The Bible part 2

2008-08-29T12:05:00.000-07:00

Last week we covered the Revelation of the Bible...this week,Inspiration and Illumination.
Inspiration means...
that God wrote the Bible through people (they are His words)
that the Holy Spirit is the author
that God's word is the final authority (when you're in conflict...God's word always wins out)
that the Bible is completely inerrant

Illumination - supernatural ministry and influence of the Holy Spirit that enables believers to understand the Bible.
This does not mean that non-believers do not understand the words of the Bible, just that the Holy Spirit does not live within them therefore, they will not understand the words' meaning in their life.
Illumination always begins with God, but you have to be sensitive to it.

There was also a question from last week about the apocrypha - what it is and why it is in the Catholic Bible but not the Christian Bible.
The apocrypha is a "set" of history books and writings that were written in the 400 years between the Old Testament and the New Testament. They were not inspired by God and are not included in the Christian Bible because (#1) the Jews never accepted these writings, (#2) the apocrypha never claims to be inspired by God, and (#3) is is never quoted as authoritative in scripture.

I can't wait until next session when we dive into God. How do we know he exists? and questions like that.

GRRRR

2008-08-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

I have been doing so well about keeping our house clean and picked up. I was very proud of myself because I had everything but the bathrooms clean by Wednesday night in anticipation of our TWO cookouts we're having this weekend. My plan was to just keep it picked up and re-clean the kitchen and vacuum the floors for Sunday. Good plan, right??
"Ladies and Gentlemen....plans have changed"
Yesterday Ray and I decided to paint a couple of walls in our living room b/c one was this deep burgandy "accent" wall and the opposite wall was pretty scuffed up. I'm fine with that and we actually worked well together with no harsh words said all day! (sidenote: if you've known us for any length of time, you know how miraculous that was) In the process of moving furniture, taping, priming, painting, keeping kids away, etc...the house becomes an explosion of toys, tools, paper, trash, laundry. I didn't know that taking one day break would create such chaos!!! So...instead of just cleaning the bathrooms, I'm cleaning the bathrooms, picking up the living room, cleaning the kitchen (for the second time), picking up our bedroom, putting toys away in the playroom, doing laundry, and going crazy.

Anyone have any chocolate?

hairstyles

2008-08-27T12:57:00.001-07:00

I am now trying to "do" something with Aaliyah's hair when I have the time and she'll let me. Bows don't work b/c she likes to pull them out and just leaving it down causes this wonderfully huge afro when she gets up from her nap (I'll have to get a picture of that)! I think we've finally found a hair-care routine that works for now, but here are a couple of pics of recent attempts at hair-styling.

******Disclaimer: keep in mind that my hairstyling experience involves only my own head. I've never been able to do anyone's hair but mine...and that's limited to ponytails.

First attempt at anything. Two ponytails on top only. This is from my phone, so you'll have to excuse the quality of the picture.

First time trying pigtails. I tried to swoop up all her hair into these two, but of course the back always falls down. This is my FIL's favorite.

I've also tried just the little top ponytail (no pics of that, sorry). Any more suggestions on possible hairstyles? Her hair is still baby-fine and I refuse to do any tight styles. Oh...and I need to be able to do it in the 1-2 minutes that she'll actually sit still before I have to hold her down! :)

I love our house

2008-08-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

There are some great things about living where we do now.
#1 - one set of grandparents are right across the street (very helpful last night!)
#2 - we are back in Rutherford County
#3 - we live in a neighborhood that everyone knows about, directions are easy to give, and most of the neighbors are actually interested in knowing you!
#4 - we live close enough to the lake to walk down and feed the ducks (with the kids in the wagon...it's a little far for them)

Here are some pictures from our little field trip this morning.

Ready to go!!

Mean Duck - he came right up to us the second he heard the wrapper on the crackers (as did about 500 other ducks!) and wouldn't back down. The kids were a little scared, but I was poised and ready to attack if needed. :)

Lots of ducks today. There were so many more than this, but it would have just looked like a lot of brown dots on the grass.

Goose!

Throwing rocks in the lake (along with some duck poop thanks to my daughter!)

Aggressive Duck - wouldn't leave us alone. I had to keep my eye on him while I was taking pictures to make sure he wasn't going to peck me!

"I just want to skip rocks, mommy." This after I have already told him 15 million times that it's time to stop throwing the rocks.

wants to be just like bubba...doesn't listen!

Do we know what "STOP THROWING THE ROCKS" means???!!

"Dah, Dah" come here!!

On the way back home, Kyler caught his first butterfly on his arm! He was so excited that he named it and called it his pet. :)

Sorry there are no pics of the kids actually feeding the ducks. They (the ducks) were very aggressive when they heard the wrapper from the crackers and I didn't want them to attack the kids. The whole sleave of crackers went in about 30 seconds...no lie. Maybe next time we'll take daddy...he'll protect us!

God-ology - The Bible

2008-08-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...it's been a whole week since week 2 of God-ology and I haven't commented, yet. Well, it's been a crazy week with a yard sale thrown in, but I wanted to get this up before tonight's session.

We tackled some questions about the Bible last week:

Why should the Bible have authority in your life?
What makes it different than other religious books?
The Bible was written by humans. Doesn't that mean there are mistakes? How can we know it's truly from God? Aren't their opinions thrown in?

There are three words that we hear when talking about the Bible:

Revelation - God revealed, He has chosen to reveal Himself to us
Inspiration - the process by which He gave us the Bible
Illumination - the Holy Spirit's work of bringing light to the words of the Bible as we read them

One quote I grabbed, "People don't attack the Bible because it's open to attack...they attack the Bible because they don't want to be held accountable to what it says, they want to live life on their terms" (paraphrased)

I know this seems all over the place. I will try to do better after tonight's session!

Garage Sale

2008-08-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

If you are reading this on Sat. the 23rd...come on over to my place for a garage sale! We have lots of stuff that HAS to go and I'd rather make money on it than just give it away or toss it! :) (the leftovers will be donated, though).

It's posted on Craigslist and the DNJ online...so if you're in the neighborhood, just drop on by and see what kind of great deal you can haggle ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUBBY!!!

2008-08-18T11:15:00.001-07:00

Today is my husband's birthday. I won't say how old he is (I think he's a bit sensitive), but I love him all the same ;)
I don't know if he reads this or not, but I will say it anyway...
Happy Birthday baby, I love you with all of my heart and I can't wait to celebrate MANY more birthdays with you.

P.S. I've been praying recently that I can understand different situations from my husband's point of view (we all know what great communicators men are) and lo and behold I just discovered this morning that he has started a blog! Don't know if he knows how many people will be going there, but let's give him a big welcome to blogland! Go here to read and leave comments. I know I will enjoy getting into his thoughts!

Adventures at Wal-Mart...

2008-08-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

if you don't know already...I work at Wal-mart. I worked there in college and came back just recently so I could continue to stay home with my kids but still provide some income. This place is so different 10 years later and now a mom and wife. I notice a lot of things that I never noticed before. I will be throwing in a few funny blogs every now and then about things that I notice that just strike me as odd.
Nothing unusually funny comes to me right now (although I'm sure I'll have one after I get off tonight) but I do notice something. There are a lot of my former students who come to Wal-mart just to hang out. Not a problem...I did that too...in fact still do sometimes. :) The thing that just breaks my heart is the number of them who are carrying children either in the cart or in their bellies (I only taught 3 1/2 years so these are 15-18 year olds). These are not their siblings...these are their kids! Everytime I see one of my kiddos pregnant, my heart hurts for them. They have no idea. Everytime I see a former student proudly showing off their child to me like it's the newest, greatest accessory, I hurt for them. They do not know. Now that I'm no longer their teacher, I just want to pull them aside and tell them how much God loves them. How much I love them. How much having a baby probably won't make them feel more loved. It's a huge sacrifice. One that I have a hard time with at 29, I can't even imagine trying to deal with it at 16!! I just hurt for them, whether they intended to get pregnant or not.
Okay, that's enough for now...stay tuned!

Husband bragging

2008-08-15T12:05:00.001-07:00

If you have read my blog for any length of time, you know I don't talk a whole lot about my husband. Like every young marriage, we have problems. We are both stubborn control freaks who like everything to go the way we expect and plan it to...but we don't think alike so that causes a whole world of problems. It feels like everything is a battle or a competition and I'm NOT a big competitor (he very much is). He is a very hard worker (at work) but doesn't do too much around the house and expects me to take on pretty much everything. To be perfectly honest, I've had a hard time lately remembering the good qualities and focusing too much on the things that make me mad.
HOWEVER...something has changed. I don't know what, but I'm glad. Part of it is probably my attitude and choosing to see the good instead of the bad. Since we've been in our new home (one week now) he has helped unpack, done little things to the yard and in the garage without me asking...he even cleaned up dinner last night!! I am so proud of my hubby. I think that after 5 years, we are starting to get the hang of a few things, although there is a whole lot more we have to learn. We always have good days and bad days...it just depends on what we choose to focus on.
Ray, I love you and I'm proud to call you my husband.

God-ology - Worldview

2008-08-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Last night was the first in a semester-long series on the study of God. It was just an introduction, but I learned a lot in that hour or so.

What is Worldview? How is it created? What affects it? Can it be changed?

World view - your beliefs that form the lens through which you see the world
It affects everything about you...your actions, your words, your behavior, your thoughts, the way you spend money, the way you parent, the way you take care of your body...EVERYTHING about you.
It is either right or wrong. There is no gray area.

3 questions form the Core of our Worldview:
Who are we and where did we come from?
What has gone wrong with this world?
What's the solution or what can be done to fix it?

This a just a broad stroke of what we talked about last night. I am so excited to see where God takes Ray and I on this journey. I know there will be some challenges to my thinking and his and we are ready. One song kept going through my head as Pat was talking. Probably because I heard it on the radio on the way to church, but it applied very well. The song is Fade by Casting Crowns. Go listen to it and let me know how it speaks to you. It's one of my new favs.

God-ology

2008-08-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

Is that really a word? Well, according to Pat Hood it is. Of course his famous "metaphor" (pronounced met-a-fur) is the classic. Anyway...God-ology is the study of God. It's his way of making theology a little more catchy and understandable.
I ramble...let me say what I actually meant to in this post!

Last night, we started a new "thing." It's not your typical Wed. night service. There is no music, no "preaching," and no extra "stuff." Just teaching...on theology. I LOVED it! This will be a semester-long study on who God is. We were told that it will shake us up, make us think, create more questions than we started with, and sometimes even make us mad. I can't wait! I grew up in a church that never really explained much. It just was and that was that. I am a person that needs things explained in detail so that I can wrap my brain around it. That's exactly what this is. Ray couldn't come last night but fortunately it will be podcast, so...if you want to understand what I'll be rambling about every week, feel free to go here and listen. OR...you could actually show up at the church on Wed. nights at 6:30 (if you are in this area) and here it live. I encourage you to listen or come and bring paper and a really good pen. I took three pages of notes last night alone and that was just the intro!

SCC and loss

2008-08-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

I have been keeping up with the Chapmans via Jim Houser's blog. I'm trying not to become obsessed. :)
I have been reading a lot lately about people who have lost children. It doesn't matter how they lost them, but I seem surrounded by it. I don't know if it's my own doing or not. Everytime I feel that I'm being surrounded by something, I think that God is preparing me. I don't know what for, but I feel that way now. Perhaps I will have a close personal friend lose a child and I need to know how to help them or what to say? Maybe this is something that will help me one day in the mission field? There are other scenarios, but I don't dare utter the words out loud much less type them for all of the world wide web to see. Just know that I feel called to my knees for this family and all families who are grieving today. I know there are up days and there are really bad days. God is there through it all and He will bring people to him through everything.

Peace or apathy

2008-08-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

Something I have been wondering about lately...do I just have a supernatural peace about certain situations, or am I just cold-hearted and apathetic?
Things have been absolutely crazy this summer. Things that I would normally stress over and worry about and mull over in my mind over and over until I came up with some sort of solution. I, however, am not doing that. I seem to have the attitude that it will all work out in God's timing. I'm not stressed, I'm not worried. Just like that...what will happen will happen. Is that peace? I feel like I should be more worried or stressed, but I'm not. Is that apathy? I'm afraid that's what it looks like to some people (including my husband).
I have a teaching degree and 3 1/2 years experience...I'm working at Wal-mart. I'm okay with that. I truly feel that's where God had put me for now. I will apply for an interim job that is coming up at an elementary school. Not sure if God want's me there or not. If I don't get it...husband will be upset, MIL will be upset, I won't be upset. I'm at peace knowing that God will put me where I'm supposed to be in HIS timing...or am I using Him as an excuse to stay in my nice comfortable box?

lots on my mind

2008-08-08T12:22:00.001-07:00

There have been many potential blogs on my mind recently, but I am just now getting around to writing them. There will probably be several new posts over the next week or so (so I can clear my mind!).

Hope you enjoy!

What a summer!

2008-08-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

It has been two months and it's finally almost back to normal. We move into our new home tomorrow (new to us, anyway) and get out of our parents' hair. :) They have been so gracious and understanding while we waited and worked out some things. If you want our new address just email me or catch me sometime and I'll send it to you. Phone numbers are the same since we just use our cells anyway. Hope to have you over sometime after we get settled in!

My firsts

2008-07-01T11:24:00.001-07:00

I don't remember many of my big firsts. I was too young or too out of it (thinking ahead and not living in the moment) to remember.
I will remember my first interview where I didn't get the job. He said they had filled the position, but I interviewed very well. For some reason that's not a whole lot of comfort now. I feel like I've let my husband down. I was so confident going in. I thought for sure I had it in the bag (until he told me there were 10 others). Don't know where to go from here. "Just keep looking." "It's just not where God wants you." Thankfully, I'm allowed to be upset with God sometimes.

still no word

2008-06-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

I waited until today to hear about the BMS job. I knew he probably wouldn't call me on Friday (he said so) and I pretty much figured no call on the weekend. So here came Monday. And there went Monday. It's 3:30 pm. I've called the school a few times today just to thank them for the interview...no answer. I hope I hear something soon, otherwise the hubby will be on my case. Not that I have ANY control over this situation beyond the interview.

June 28, 2003

2008-06-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

I still remember most of that day. Of course your wedding day is usually a blur by the time you wake up the next morning anyway. My performer mind remembers the things that went wrong. I won't go there.
I remember my matron of honor making me cry right before she went down the aisle. I remember crying the ugly cry the second my feet hit the carpet in the worship center. I'm sure dad was trying his hardest to not cry too bad. I remember the candle dripping wax all over the carpet on stage (is Rachel peeing??). I regret not taking the time to stop and look at my husband standing at the front in his tuxedo. He was so incredibly handsome. We were so naive. Aren't most newlyweds? We were so young. We didn't think so. We had no idea that in 17 short months our whole world would change with the birth of our first child.
I remember people being scared that I would spill the red punch all over my dress b/c I kept walking around with it. I remember thinking that maybe we shouldn't dance after all. It is the fellowship hall and there is no DJ, just our CD a friend compiled for us. I remember my dad coming up to me and asking me to dance (I guess he knew I was too scared to ask him). I don't know if he knew I wanted to. Neither one of us looked at each other the whole song. We would have cried so bad. It could have been ugly. :)
One of my best memories of that day is stopping at Kroger before heading to Atlanta for the night. I still had on my tiara and jewelry with my shorts and sleeveless shirt (so like me). A lady in the doorway told us we looked so happy. I told her we had only been married about 2 hours. She told us congratulations. I don't know who she was, but that memory will be with us everytime we celebrate our anniversary.
We had big plans for this one. Five years. A good chunk of people don't make it here. We wanted a vacation. Alone. Oh, well. Amazing how God laughs at even the simplest of plans.
The last year has been rough, but when is marriage easy? I can definitely say that we have grown closer this year. We have learned a lot about each other. When we were dating we had a little thing we said to each other and I'll apply it here...Five years down, eternity to go.
Ray, I love you. You were an amazing answer to prayer in God's perfect timing. You are a great father to our children and my rock as a husband. Happy Anniversary.

This morning

2008-06-27T11:28:00.001-07:00

I had an interview this morning at BMS for the music job. I know the principal. I knew one of the band directors there to sit in. I knew the former music teacher fairly well. I have 3 1/2 years experience in middle school. Why am I so nervous? I keep running the interview through my head and thinking of better ways I could have answered the questions. He asked me if I had any questions. You're always supposed to have one question to ask. I couldn't think of anything. He asked why I wanted to come back to teaching. I said that I miss it. I do. Should I have said because I need the job? Will he think that I just want to come back and I don't actually need it? He asked why this school. I rambled something about liking the community and this area. Should I have said because I love middle school? I do. Does he know that? They had 10 other interviews today for the same position. Who are they? How did their interviews go? Are there really that many potential music teachers in this area? Do they have experience? tenure? Do they love middle school as much as I do or are they just looking for something, anything? The waiting is killing me.

I know, I know

2008-06-24T06:57:00.000-07:00

It's been way too long since I posted anything at all. Let's just say that the last couple of weeks have been a time of craziness. I can't and won't go into any detail at all except to say that we are completely out of our box and our routine.

Last week I taught VBS at our church and it was awsome (as always)! We had over 40 kids make some sort of decision about Christ by the end of the week!!! I say "some sort of decision" because not all are professions of faith, nor should they be. Our ministry staff is great at making sure the children know exactly what becoming a Christ follower means. We take it seriously and I'm proud of that. That means that when my children are ready, it won't be because we pushed them or someone told them that they HAD to. It will be there decision and they will understand that decision. The other awsome thing about VBS was that Kyler's classes were doing the same thing as the older kids (just simplified) so we were able to talk about it every day! That was totally awsome for me. It gets emotional sometimes, but it is such a fuzzy feeling inside when you know that your child understands what he learns at church and is so excited about it that he can't wait to tell you. I love that!

The job hunt has been going okay. I sent my resume to 4 schools that had positions open and three of them emailed me back and said that the positions had already been filled. :( HOWEVER...I got a call from BMS yesterday and set up an interview for Friday. If you are not too busy at about 8:30 Friday morning, prayers would be appreciated. I haven't done a teacher interview before where I didn't already have the job (I was basically hired b/f the interview at Smyrna). It is a good schoool and I know the principal from SMS so I'm hoping that this pans out. If not, then God has another job out there for me and I just have to be open to it. :)

The kids are doing well. Kyler is learning more letters and their sounds. Our next step is going to be putting those sounds together and to start reading. Maybe we can make some good progress by his 4th birthday in Nov. He is also getting better at writing a few letters. We've only done the simple capital letters, but he's picking those up fast! Aaliyah is a little stinker. I think she's teething again (no, we still don't have all her teeth) and this time it's bad. She's finally walking and really wants to run. The great thing is that she's picking up more sign language faster so there are fewer fits when she can't tell us what she wants. She still throws a fit when she doesn't get her way or when Kyler's in my lap, or in her way, or playing with something she wants, or when someone's eating around her, or...well, you get the idea. She doesn't like sharing one bit, but she doesn't have a choice!

Okay, this is longer than I intended, so I'll go for now. I'll try and do better about keeping everyone updated. Have a great week!

I'm claiming this song

2008-06-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

This is a song we sang last week in the Modern Worship service and then sang it again this week. All I could think of while singing was how many different situations this song applies to. Not only our city, but all places and families all over the world. I thought of Cazale, Haiti and all I've been reading this week about Real Hope for Haiti from Aaron and Jamie...I thought of the city of Smyrna and all God is doing through our church...I thought of Sao Paulo, Brazil and Pete and Jodi...I thought of wherever God will be sending our family for missions...and I thought of all the people who have lost children so tragically in the last few months like this family and her sister-in-law and this family. We never fully understand God's plan (and it's okay to tell Him you don't get it) and why he allows such tragic things to happen to His children, but we take refuge in knowing that He does have a plan and it's okay. He will bring glory to His name despite the circumstances.

God of this City (Chris Tomlin)

You're the God of this city.
You're the King of these people.
You're the Lord of this nation.
You are.
You're the light in this darkness.
You're the hope to the hopeless.
You're the peace to the restless.
You are.

There is no one like our God.
There is no one like our God.

For greater things have yet to come
and greater things are still to be done in this city.
For greater things have yet to come
and greater things are to be done here.

praying for the Chapmans

2008-05-22T12:17:00.001-07:00

Ever since we were told last night during choir rehearsal at church about this tragedy, it has been on my mind. I hurt for Steven and Mary Beth and their entire family. I cannot comprehend what it must feel like to lose a child, especially one that was brought into your family to save her from a life of uncertainty in China. One thing that continues to cross my mind is this...yes, they lost a daughter, but they lost a son, too. Their son must deal with this tragedy on a level that so few people understand. He is only a teenager, but now is going through more than any adult will in their lifetime...and he has a lifetime still ahead to live with it. They now must grieve the loss of one child while helping another cope with severe guilt.
It is good to know that, in the midst of such heartache and pain, God has us in His arms. We cannot even begin to understand why such things happen, but I KNOW that this family will bring glory to His name. They know and understand that He is in control of our comings and goings, our beginnings and our ends...no matter how young we are. To steal lines from another artist...
And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
For you are who you are no matter where I am
And every tear I've cried you hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

New Kids on the Block

2008-05-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

It's like, so cool, ya know?

I just watched the first performance in 15 years of NKOTB on the Today show. It was a nice trip down memory lane. I was trying to remember all the stuff I had (which wasn't a whole lot) and how I felt about them back then. Like most girls, I loved Joey. He had a great voice, but I think most liked him b/c of those blue, blue eyes and the fact that he was the closest in age to most of the "tween" fans. Amazingly, though, he wasn't who I went ga-ga over. I LOVED Jordan. I don't know why. Maybe because he was probably the next cutest and a little older (I always like older guys).
As I watched this time, with a few more years behind me and a few more years behind them, I was amazed at a couple of things. Now, granted, this was a live performance in the rain, but their vocals aren't that great! They sang a medley of the good ol' stuff (Hangin' Tough, The Right Stuff, Please Don't Go Girl, etc.) and then sang the first single from their new album, Summertime. I was hoping for a little more harmony...they are 15 years older and should be more mature vocally...and a different sound from them. I wasn't impressed.
I'm sure, though, that with all the fans that have been waiting for this, their album will be a big seller, they'll try another one, and then slowly fizzle out again. That's just the cycle of groups in the music business these days.

On a side note, Jonathan Knight looked quite uncomfortable and awkward, like always. I chalked that one up to him being the oldest, which wasn't bad in the early '90s, but just looks weird now.

Shamless plug for The Pampered Chef

2008-05-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

Hello all! I hope this finds you well and excited for summer. I know I am!

What is the best thing about summer for you? I love the chance to play outside with my kids and husband, grilling out, and visiting family and friends. Aren't cookouts and picnics the best?!! I have issued myself a personal challenge this summer and you can help! I want to book 6 shows in June and 8 shows in July to keep my business strong. No "lazy days of summer" for me...I want to be busy, busy, busy.

With the economy on the skids and the price of everything going up, I'm sure we all will have to be inventive this summer when it comes to entertaining. The Pampered Chef has great opportunities to stock your kitchen with the tools you'll need for summer for a greatly discounted price or even for FREE!!! All you have to do is invite some friends and maybe some family over (you know you were going to anyway) and let me do the cooking! You don't even have to clean the dishes b/c I take all my dirty dishes home with me. :) What a great chance to re-connect this summer and stock your kitchen for FREE!! Or even better...what a great chance to start your own business and earn that extra income for gas or the vacation you had to put on hold this summer. The Pampered Chef fits into your schedule as much or as little as you need.

Give it a shot! There is no risk! Leave a comment (I won't publish it), email, or call me today to learn about the Host Only specials for June and July.

Big Announcment!

2008-05-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

Not about me...but I got your attention, huh???!
Watching the Today show this morning, and they had a teaser about Mother's Day. The Duggar Family was on with their 17 kids (yes, 17) and they "had a surprise announcement" to make. Yeah, with this family, there is only one "surprise" announcement they would make on national television...they are having another baby! This makes 18 kids in their 24 or so years of marriage! Right now the oldest is 20 and the youngest is 9 months.
Anyone who knows about this family has many things to say, I'm sure. I did a little quick research and found that there are a lot of people who think they are crazy and/or stupid. I saw them called "hyperreligious" and "like a cult" and I saw some good things, too.
This family believes that children are a gift from God and they will have as many as He sees fit to give them. Now, ususally, I would go on and on about how they should stop b/c the oldest are raising the youngest and not allowed to grow up or how there is no possible way that they could support that many kids, etc, etc. HOWEVER...I am fascinated by this family. They live debt-free, their lives are very organized (from what I can see), there is a lot of loving on each and every child, and they always put God first. Forget all the little things that I may not agree with (girls in dresses with long hair, boys in khakis and polos, no use of birth control, etc). This family is living strong for God in the way they know how. The negative things that I ran across online were about how they use religion as an excuse to be a "baby mill" or how their in no way that every child could possibly get all the attention that he/she needs or that the mom is just living in the dark ages and the dad is the "king of his castle." For some reason, that just seems sooo not true of this family. They are able to support their family financially, spiritually, and emotionally. More power to them. I admire them...wouldn't want to be them...but admire them all the same.